Most of the time sex surveys should be taken with a pinch of salt – when someone tells you ‘20% of men would rather have a cheeseburger than a hand job’, you can bet they only actually asked a few men, and getting hold of the original stats will involve leaping over a lot of hurdles. We’re just saying this up front because it’s true of the stat we’re going to talk about today: we’ve no idea how representative it is, and wouldn’t advise you go drawing any major conclusions from it. But although you wouldn’t use this random survey as a basis for a thesis, as the basis for a blog post it allows us to explore a really interesting question.
How much is sex worth to you?
So the stats in question were reported in The Sun but come from a website called Make Your Switch which we think is selling diets. But don’t let that put you off, because we’re just here to talk about one question, that they put to 1200 people across the UK:
Would you give up sex for £1 million?
One million pounds.
To put that into perspective, with £1 million you could buy 10,000 years‘ worth of subscriptions to fab queer porn site Crashpad, 12,658 PULSE III SOLOs, or over 334,000 copies of the sexy anthology ‘Silence is Golden.’ As long as the pound doesn’t sink further against the dollar, you could even buy this $1 million vibrator and have spare change for a pint and a pub lunch. Of course, if ‘giving up sex’ includes giving up all things sexual, you may have to console yourself with this 7 bedroom house in Lanarkshire or a shoebox somewhere inside the M25.
What exactly counts as ‘sex’?
We’ll need to clarify the question, of course: in exchange for the £1 million, what exactly do you need to give up? Just a heteronormative view of sex which sees penetration as the ‘measure’ by which a shag has happened? If so, plenty of people will be laughing all the way to the bank as they cash in the cheque and continue to enjoy the kind of sex they were having anyway: pegging, non-penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, etc.
It could even be a golden opportunity to start exploring kinds of sex that fall outside what you’d usually go for. Kinks, fetishes and masturbation tricks that you’ve been curious about but never tried suddenly become much more accessible when you have a million quid in the bank. And who knows? You might even be able to put some of it towards designing your own sex toy – one which technically doesn’t breach the terms of your ‘no sex’ agreement (if it’s just a ‘no sex with partners’ agreement, for instance) but which can be used to give you pleasure nonetheless.
If, on the other hand, giving up sex means ditching anything at all that could give you sexual pleasure, then it’s likely the only way you’ll actually manage to achieve it is by going to live in a cave. You’d have to never look at another person in case their sexy smile sparked a hot fantasy, you’d have to avoid sitting at the back of the bus in case the vibrations hit you in just the right way. You may even have to cut your sleeping time down, just in case your pent-up sexual frustration caused your brain to churn out incredible sex dreams.
That’s right: we’re here to overthink hypothetical questions so you don’t have to.
Would you give up sex for money?
Let’s assume for the sake of argument that ‘give up sex’ means ‘give up sexual activity with a partner or partners.’ Thus, in order to get your £1 million, you just have to restrict yourself to solo sex: no camming, no threesomes, no mutual masturbation. And no cheating by using teledildonic sex toys to shag someone who’s technically on another continent.
You still get all the joy of solo sex, but you miss out on the connection with a partner. We suspect there may be a fair few people who go for this: not everyone enjoys partnered sex to the same degree, and a million pounds is a lot of money. But how about you? Would the cash more than make up for what you’re missing out on? Or would you put a much higher price on sex?
Oh, and for those who are wondering what the answers were, apparently 56% of men and 60% of the women surveyed said they would take the deal.