All tied up in knots?

So you want to tie someone up, get tied up, both, or hey maybe you’re just here for my sparkling conversation. Regardless, let’s talk about Shibari bondage.

WHAT IS SHIBARI?

First of all, let’s ask a classic beginner’s question - what is Shibari? It’s the Japanese term that refers to a specific style of rope bondage, although it’s often used as the name for any and all rope bondage. Rope bondage itself is just using rope to restrain, interact with, and stimulate the body and mind, sometimes in a sexual setting.

There are many reasons why someone may enjoy shibari rope bondage. For some, having certain abilities restricted (eg. not being able to move their hands below their head) can be an exhilarating way to let go during a sexual encounter, and can draw focus to other areas of the body that you may want to draw your mind’s focus to. It can also be a way to try out and relax into giving some control over to their partner in the bedroom. Shibari rope bondage also gets your imaginations going: if you can’t interact with your person with one area of your body, you’d be surprised at how inventive you get.

For others, it can come down to the sensory experience of the feeling on your skin or wrapping Shibari rope on someone else’s.

“Okay, I’m sold! Now how do I start?” I hear you say. I thought you’d never ask…

Step Two - Shibari rope, meet body

Before we touch Shibari rope to body, you’re going to want to make sure you have some handy dandy rope shears on you - you can get these on most reputable rope selling websites online or, honestly, just get yourself a pair of paramedic shears if you’re struggling to find some. They’re built exactly the same way and do the job just fine. You’re always going to want to have these on hand when doing Shibari bondage because, should the worst happen and something goes wrong, you will be forever grateful that it was easy to cut your rope and free the tied person.

Now for the fun stuff. Shibari rope is typically used doubled up meaning you take both ends of the rope and hold them together folding your piece in half and finding the middle point (often called ‘the bite’) at what is now the other end. The reason rope is typically used doubled up is pretty important - we want to spread the load to prevent anything too sharp or thin on delicate nerves and doubling up the rope does this nicely without introducing bulky and uncomfortable knots to the rope.

A second important element of our adventures in rope is tension. Not sexual tension although, of course, that is a bonus. This just means making sure we’re holding enough tension in our Shibari rope so it’s more cooperative with staying on the body. From there we have the two components needed to start playing with rope.

Step Four - Tips and tricks

Finally, let’s look at some helpful tips on Shibari bondage play I’ve picked up over the years of varying degrees of seriousness before you’re ready to embark on your rope adventure like kinky little fledglings!

1. Always. Pee. Before. You. Rope. Trust me, I learned this the hard way several times. There is nothing worse than getting all trussed up like a Christmas ham and then realising you absolutely have to pee right that very second.
2. Despite the fact that it’s one of the most referenced forms of kink and often the first thing people imagine when kink or kinky sex is mentioned, bondage in any form but especially rope bondage comes with a lot of risks. Know your (and your partner’s) limits, work carefully within them and don’t try anything that you’re not confident you could get out of and quickly.
3. If it tingles or gives your pins and needles, it’s best to err on the side of caution and loosen the rope.
4. Choosing the right rope can be a tad overwhelming at first. Personal preference obviously plays into it but my recommendation for ease of handling, safety, and getting the most out of the feeling of the rope, will always be a natural rope material (like the Shibari bondage style restraints I mentioned above) and these are also, typically, your easiest for supporting tension and friction to stay in place once you put the rope where you want it to go.
5. There are lots of resources online for specific designs and intricacies but try not to get too bogged down in the particulars straight away. To start with, just focus on handling your rope safely, keeping your tension like we talked about, communicating fluently with your partner and, obviously, having lots of fun. Foster your awareness of safety and love of rope and the rest will follow.

So now we’ve had a look at a beginner’s guide to rope, I hope you feel ready to (safely and conscientiously!) let your kinky rope nerd wings free and fly. You’ll be pawning over books and rocking up to dates with a sketchy looking bag of rope, restraints, and other gear with the rest of us soon enough!