Halloween BDSM: A How-To Guide

Who’s not going to let a pandemic get in the way of their Halloween fun? You aren’t!

Who’s going to feel sexy and have some good laughs? You!

In this article I’ll break down the DIY for Halloween bondage, impact and role play, complete with spooks and treats.

What is a BDSM scene?

A scene is a negotiated BDSM activity with a clear beginning, climax, and end. As you can imagine, Halloween lends particularly well to role play, as we are culturally conditioned to give ourselves permission to indulge in costumes and character during this time of year.

Scene #1: Pirate’s Booty, bondage and spankings

Just imagine how the dynamic in this scene can change! A pirate can spank their first mate. A pirate can spank a witch. A bar wench can spank a pirate. Yarrr!

How to:

– Apply bondage cuffs to ankles and wrists of your partner. Get into character with this. Ask questions along the lines of, “Where’s me booty?”

– Sit down and help your cuffed partner lay face down across your lap.

– Take your time easing into over the knee (OTK) spankings. Rub the palm of your hand along their rear end, on top of their clothing. Give them a couple of soft-palmed swats. Then begin to peel their clothes away from the area, one layer at a time. At each layer pause, and give a handful of deliberates rubs and swats. (This is a good time for the pirate to comment on how they’ve found their booty).

– If the bottom is really into this, continue with OTK spankings. You may be able to bring them to an edge of drooling and begging for more. This is a delicious time to make them wait while you transition to . . .

– Paddling. Change positions if desired. Remember to help the bottom! When a bottom is in bondage it’s the top’s duty to keep them from undue harm. Ankle cuffs can inhibit their ability to walk and wrist cuffs can make it harder for them to catch themself if they fall.

– Rhythm is everything when it comes to paddling. Vary up the intensity of the hits while maintaining a rhythmic beat. Check in with your bottom frequently. Do they want harder, softer, or a break for kisses?

– Climax, yar! What kind of climax does your bottom want? Harder, faster whacks? Hand sex? Be sure to reward them for a job well done.

Scene #2: Spooky Booty, sensory play of the derrière

Invoke your inner ghoul with some fear play and sensory exploration. What is your bottom’s relationship with humor and trust? You could put on a creepy mask while they’re blindfolded. Then when you take their blindfold off, you can scare the bejeezus out of them. Or you could be a friendly ghost who uses the word “spoooooky” a lot to make them laugh.

How to:

– Put blindfold on bottom, guide them around the house, in circles and zig zags.

– Lay bottom face down on the bed with a pillow under their pelvis.

– Use bondage cuffs to attach the spreader bar to their ankles.

– Take your time massaging their ass with oil. Begin with the cheeks and the crease between their thighs. As your bottom softens up, work deeper and deeper into the space between their cheeks.

– Warm up anus with light digital penetration and ample massage around the opening.

– Signs that your bottom is ready for more: their hips are grinding into the bed. Their glutes are relaxed. They are pushing their ass up and into your hand. They say, “More please.”

– “Does your booty want a spooooky treat?” (It should be established during pre-scene negotiation that this is code for butt plug.) If they say yes . . .

– Apply ample amounts of lube to the plug. Massage the opening of their anus with it. Invite them to push into it. If they clench up, go slower. When they’re ready their ass should gobble up the end of the plug like a hungry little monster.

– How to climax? That’s up to the bottom! They may want to perform or receive oral sex. They may want to masturbate with a toy while you suck their nipples. For the most Halloweenie effect, wait until the end to remove their blindfold.

Scene #3: Thirsty Vampire, power exchange

Are you Primal? Get a taste of primal power exchange with a simple and delicious vampire scene.

How to:

– Light candles. Even better if you turn on a spooky red light.

– Tell the bottom to come closer. Have them kneel.

– Caress their throat and lips. Insert your finger, and allow them to suck on it.

– Ask, “would you like to learn from me?”

– When they say yes, fasten the collar around their neck.

– Begin to show them how to suck. “Don’t suck like this. Suck like this.”

– Ask, “Do you want more?”

– If they say yes, proceed to show them how to bite. “Don’t bite like this. Bite like this.”

– Ask if they would like another kind of bite. If they say yes, apply nipple clamps.

– Put a vibrator in their hand and instruct them to masturbate. Nibble and suck on their body while they bring themself to a climax.

– Warning: this much biting may activate an inner beast. Growling or a strong urge to wrestle is not uncommon.

Ready to dive in?

The big takeaway here is to negotiate, check in, and have fun! Halloween provides us a perfect time to explore BDSM with a sense of humor, which in my opinion, is a fast track to uncovering your most authentically kinky self.