The Benefits Of Polyamory
14 September 2021
Benefits of polyamory – There are loads of reasons a person may choose to explore polyamory, aka consensual non-monogamy (CNM). It’s not all kittens and candy-farting unicorns though! Let’s look at the pros and the cons.
Poly is championed as a path to self-possession. It’s seen as a way to break free from the codependency instilled in us at birth. Still, it’s important to recognize the value of monogamy for some partnerships. Read on to find out if a consensually non-monogamous relationship is right for you.
Benefits of Polyamory #1: Autonomy and Freedom
Codependency is at an all-time high. For many people, polyamory offers the antidote.
Autonomy and freedom make CNM look pretty attractive. Styles like relationship anarchy (RA) and Solo-Polyamory (SOPO) emphasize each person being their own primary partner. All outside relationships take a secondary role. This approach can unlock a new level of self-assuredness and confidence.
Benefits of Polyamory #2: Many Expressions of Love
Another poly benefit is the ability to embrace unlimited, unconditional love. Many folks say that being non-monogamous has also made them better friends. CNM fosters empathy for both the innate insecurity of all humans and the beauty of compersion.
Compersion: an inner sense of joy that comes from knowing that your partner is sharing love with another.
“Poly bliss” isn’t always easy to obtain. But with high levels of open communication and shadow work, it is possible and oftentimes rewarding.
Benefits of Polyamory #3: Personal Growth
One of the lesser-known perks of poly is the potential for personal growth and release of emotional baggage.
Learning about your boundaries is extremely important in relationships. What do you want? Do you have any deal-breakers? And what might be negotiable?
In CNM, dealing with the shadow self and the darker emotions that come with it is necessary. It’s not just “extra credit,” since the potential for jealousy, possessiveness, and miscommunication is much higher.
Often the root of jealous feelings lies in what a person fears they might be missing. The good news is, these feelings are manageable.
Reassurance and distress-tolerance can help you navigate tough emotions.
Most people don’t know how to sit with difficult feelings and manage their intensity. This has been fueled by access to technology and other forms of mind-numbing distraction.
When you see a partner with someone else in a CNM situation you have two options:
Let the innate territorial and competitive traits we all have as humans to take the driver’s seat.
Build resiliency and compassion in the face of difficult feelings. This option can lead to a path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.
Benefits of Polyamory #4: Sharing Finances
The most practical benefit to the CNM way of life is a reduction in economic stress. This can be especially true in situations where several people live together as a polycule.
Polycule: a group of poly people forming a support “pod” in with one another. A polycule may reside in the same house, and share living expenses and chores.
This allows for more equitable financial arrangements. For example, bills could be divided so that folks contribute the same percentage of income rather than a dollar amount. This style of group living also allows for some wiggle room. Should someone lose a job or become ill, the other polycule members can share the extra expense. It can also provide a more comfortable lifestyle as rent and the cost of living continues to rise.
In the long run, CNM can help you understand the equal value of all relationships. That includes platonic friendships and familial bonds!
The societal “relationship timeline” is not always followed in CNM. Marriage, moving in together, and raising kids may be of varying importance. Many poly folks do not fit the stereotypical order of progression.
Benefits of Polyamory #5: A Broader Support Network
Sharing support between several people can improve emotional wellbeing. It can also decrease the emotional labor of any one person. The group mentality often gives a sense of deeper meaning and security. This can lessen the effects of poor mental health and toxicity on one’s life. It also increases the potential for deeper and more meaningful connections.
Strive toward self-awareness and honest communication with everyone. Consider reaching out to a CNM- friendly therapist. They can provide an extra layer of support in navigating the many complexities of the poly lifestyle.
It is crucial to respect yourself and others. Practice building mutual trust and boundaries, maintaining consent and communication, and knowing thyself. After all, it’s one for all and all for one.