Can You Have Good Sex After Menopause?
“Is there sex after menopause?” a reader asked, dismayed by her sexual changes. Sex after menopause does have its challenges — that’s why I keep writing [books about senior sex](https://joanprice.com/books). But I’m here from decades past menopause to tell you that life at this age can be fabulous — including the sex.
Marriage And Transition: A Partner’s Perspective
Pride Month is here and it’s not just queer folx who are celebrating! Fresh from inside queer/trans/BIPOC land, I’ve bundled my best suggestions to fuel your fire for allyship and bring some sparkle into your June. Happy Pride!
Is Scissoring A Thing?
Jenny Guerin is one of the lovely sex writers we met at Eroticon this year, so when she offered to write this piece answering one of queer life’s eternal questions, we jumped at the chance. Jenny is a sex writer and ethical porn advocate from London. You can read more on her website.
Erectile Dysfunction: Coming Without An Erection?
It’s not every day you’re perusing a medical journal and you get the inspiration for a brand new sex toy. But some things just grab your attention – like the fact that there are medical tools which can induce ejaculation without the need for an erection.
Chronic Sex at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit
We’ve wanted to attend Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit for a while. So this year we were chuffed to be invited to co-sponsor a day in its Bloggers’ Lounge along with friends from Doxy and Sheets of San Francisco.
Are Butt Plugs Normal?
I am a curious guy, and once I saw anal plugs being used in porn, not knowing if they were painful or pleasurable, I bought a couple to try out. When my wife discovered them, she was surprised that I would want to use something that was not “normal” or healthy for regular intimacy.
Joan Price Q & A
Ask out senior sexpert Joan Price a question about sex when you're older
Why the Sex Toy Industry Needs Queering Up
Queer it up – Here at Queers Next Door, we believe that just about everything needs queering up, especially when it comes to sex.
Horny And Menopausal? What The Research Says
Author Jane Fleishman, PhD, MEd, MS breaks down sex drive science for senior women. Warning: your doctor might be wrong.
Dating Advice, Please
At 59, I’m divorced and starting to date again, and my long-dormant libido has returned. I really want to have sex with some of the men I’m meeting, but I’m nervous about two things.
Tips For Dating A Non-Binary Person On Grindr
Thinking of dating a non-binary person? Spotted someone on Grindr or other dating app but not sure how to chat to them without getting it wrong? Ben Pechey offers some tips.
Can’t Keep An Erection Long Enough For Sex
At 70, I am experiencing a lessening of my ability to keep an erection throughout sex. I have tried ED meds and they don’t seem to help. Is there anything else?
Kelly Perks-Bevington: Top Five Sex Tips for Disabled Women
These sex tips for disabled women aren’t exactly traditional, but it’s taken me the majority of my adult life to learn them, so I guess that’s quite important!
I Never Wanted to Marry Him
My husband and I married very late in life in our mid-70s, six months ago. It was my third marriage, his eighth! He equates sex with love, while I want a deeper relationship. He wants sex at least twice a day — morning and evening.
Are You Feeling Sexy During Lockdown?
Are you feeling sexy these days? Whether you’re sheltering in place with others or alone, your libido is probably feeling the effects of stress and isolation. Maybe you feel sexier than usual, or less sexy, or not at all sexy. These are all normal reactions, says Joan Price.
Painful Sex At Menopause – What Can I Do?
Painful sex at menopause – Going through the perimenopause and menopause might mean your sex life takes a turn for the worse – but, says Dr Louise Newson, it really doesn’t have to.
How To Know If You’re Non-binary
Most folks don’t just wake up one day and think, “I’m nonbinary!” But those who do... we’re jealous. It’s normal to be uncertain or have fluctuating feelings about gender that may never completely resolve. Here is some perspective and tips from somebody who’s been there before. This article is part 2 of our nonbinary series authored by Elliott Ennis.
Joan Price’s Ultimate Senior Sex Tips
Joan Price is an advocate for ageless sexuality, runs a blog about senior sex and is one of our favourite sex educators. Here she is with her ultimate tips for staying sexy in later life.
Senior Sex Hub - You're Never Too Old!
Senior Sex means keeping that spark for life. No matter your age, you are never too old to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.
Erectile Dysfunction Sex Aids: Then and Now
From evil spirits to impotence ‘courts’, history has some very strange tales to tell about erectile dysfunction. Luckily these days doctors have a good understanding of the causes of ED as well as how to treat it.
Sex After Transition: Love Is A Many-Gendered Thing
Jen Dragon talks about sex and transitioning
Sex Requirement for Marriage
I am a 60-year-old single male. I still very much desire sex, but I believe that sex is reserved for a close, loving marriage. I want to find a partner for a sex-filled, intimate, affectionate marriage. But many women are not interested in the physical aspect – sex! – and only pretend to be interested to trap the man.
Peyronie's Disease Might Turn Off Partner
My penis has narrowed and shortened caused by Peyronie’s disease. I used to have 7-1/2 inches, now it’s 6-1/4. That’s an issue for me, as a guy, but unless a lady was familiar with my former length, she would not be aware of the change. She would just consider me short.
Tired Of One-Sided Sex
“How can I get myself interested in sex again when I just want to sleep?”
No Erection, How to Get Frisky?
I am a two-time prostate cancer survivor since 2005. I am unable to get an erection even with a variety of products. Sex with my wife has for the most part been nonexistent. She has health issues as well.
Man Suffocating from Lack of Intimacy
I’m 68, married for 40 years. This week I told my wife I was suffocating from several years of a lack of intimacy. I said that she could not expect me to forget about my sexuality — that’s a normal part of a person. Expecting no intimacy was like asking me to stop breathing.
Fishy Smell, Emu Oil?
Coconut oil and Vitamin E stopped working for me, so I am freezing and using emu oil as a vaginal lubricant. Do you have any information about safety? Also, since last winter, I’ve had a slightly “fishy” odor.
The Stonewall Generation: Interview With Jane Fleishman
In this compelling article, Joan Price interviews Jane Fleishman Ph.D., author of “The Stonewall Generation.” This work seeks to shine light on the intersectionality of the LGBTQ movement as well as give a voice to the important issues of sex, activism, and aging.
Cloudy Smelly Urine
It has been six years since I had sex. I’ve started having an odor when I urinate. It’s been three weeks and the odor is still occurring. Also, my urine is a little cloudy.
Seniors Speak about Sex - Part 1
Our Hot Octopuss Senior Sex Hub usually aims to answer your questions and help you fix your sex and relationship problems.
Joan Price Bio
Author and speaker Joan Price calls herself an ‘advocate for ageless sexuality’. She has been called other things by the media: ‘senior sexpert’, ‘the beautiful face of senior sex’, and—her favorite —’wrinkly sex kitten’
PULSE INTERACTIVE Sex Toy Sets
Recommended by Davey Wavey, the PULSE SOLO INTERACTIVE gay couples sets for penises are a world first. Connect online and see who cums first.
Does A Cock Ring Work With A Strap On?
An intrepid queer couple tried out our ATOM and ATOM PLUS cock rings with their favourite strap-on. Did it work?
Sex Aids For People With Mobility Issues
At what point does a ‘sex toy’ become a ‘sex aid’? A mystery for our ages, perhaps. In fact, we’d put sex toys and sex aids in exactly the same category – they’re all things which help us have better sex.
Sex & Disability
Disabled Sex means knowing that pleasure has no limits. No matter your disability, you have a human right to a fulfilling sex life.
Tight Vagina No Intercourse
I’m 72. I have not been able to have intercourse with my husband for the last five years. It seems like my vaginal canal is very small. I’m not sure I want to use dilators.
Hurt by Husband’s Porn Use
My husband is 74 and I am 52 – a 23-year difference in age. He watches porn and masturbates to it every day. It’s always interracial porn. He thinks I don’t know but I do. It hurts me. What can I do?
Seniors Speak about Sex - Part 2
The happiest and most sexually satisfied seniors communicate concerns and figure out inventive senior sex solutions and adaptations.
Strengthen Erections - A Urologist’s Tips For Getting Your Penis In Shape
Want to strengthen your erection? Dr Judson Brandeis provides five top tips to help ensure your penis works as expected.
Sex & Disability Products
We've collated some of the best Hot Octopuss products that can help people with disability enjoy a new type of pleasure.
More Brilliant Sex and Disability Bloggers
Following last month’s popular post introducing some stigma-busting sex and disability bloggers, here’s part two, in which Eve Adler, Pillow Princess, Helen’s Toybox and Hedonish talk to us about their work.
If You Don’t Want Sex Anymore, Learn About Responsive Desire
Our resident senior sex expert Joan Price asks how you can test whether responsive desire works for you?
My Wife Prefers Her Vibrator
Wife Prefers Her Vibrator – “how do I get her to like me instead of the vibrator?”
Can Sex Toys Help With Erectile Dysfunction? JETT Worked For Me
Can sex toys help with erectile dysfunction? The JETT penis vibrator certainly helped with mine, says blogger Michael Knight.
Getting Started With BDSM: Older Person’s Guide
Author M. Christian delves into how BDSM can become an enjoyable part of anyone’s sexual activities, no matter their age or experience.
Demisexual Meaning – Am I Demisexual?
It’s more common than you think – the need to form a close emotional bond before having sex. Guest writer Lucas Jackman unpacks the meaning and identifying traits of demisexuality. Think you or someone you know might be demisexual? Read on.
Our Survey Of Over-55s Smashes Stereotypes About Sex And Ageing
According to our sex and ageing survey, seniors experiment more with sex as they get older, are almost as happy with their sex lives as younger people, and often own more sex toys.
We have been married 27 years, together for 30. We had a healthy sex life until a year and a half ago, when my husband stopped. No kissing, no touching. I tried to discuss this with him, and he said he needed to see a doctor. He never did. He seems to have zero interest in us as a couple. We are good friends.
What Is Non-binary?
Regardless of how you identify, your gender was assigned to you at birth – and you had no say in it. That’s why everybody benefits from a critical analysis of gender. Here is the first article in our 3-part NB series, but before we hop into pronouns – and into bed – let’s start with the basics. Series by guest author, Elliott Ennis.
Situational ED: It’s Not Your Dick, It’s The Drugs
I have slept with a lot of men who have worried about their erections, and it’s time we talked about situational ED and drugs.
Top Sex Toys For Seniors – Suzanne Portnoy
One of the benefits of being a prolific sex blogger and erotic memoirist a decade ago was trying out the sex toys I was regularly sent by toy companies. Now that I don’t do so much writing, the gifts have stopped, but I still have quite an arsenal of equipment to add spice to my bedroom activities.
Tackling Sexual Shame – Reimagining Sexual Pleasure
Dr. Jane Fleishman weighs in on sexual shame. This article combines research with expert advice on how anyone can improve their relationship with their body and their sex life.
Queer, Trans & Non-Binary
Trans person walking in the rain with a rainbow umbrella.
Loss of Clitoral Orgasm
I’m 65 and have had difficulty with clitoral orgasms all my adult life, but in the last six to seven months, it’s become almost impossible. The pandemic is not an issue – if anything, we are more sexually active than usual.
7 Random Facts About Brewer’s Droop
Temporary erectile dysfunction caused by alcohol – or ‘brewer’s droop’ – is something most men understand only too well. Overdoing the booze on a night out can mean a frustrating, horny evening once you’re home.
Meet The Stigma-Busting Disabled Sex Bloggers
At Hot Octopuss we’ve been working closely with sex bloggers for over five years, and it’s been exciting in that time to watch more and more disabled sex bloggers, including those with chronic health conditions, join the community.
Non-binary Sex – An Intimacy Crash Course For NB Folks & Their Partners
For the final installation of our NB 101 series, guest author Elliott Ennis is going to give us a crash course in sexual intimacy. This article touches on the topics of support, communication, feelings, what to do when things go sideways, and what to do so things go right.
I Lose My Erection Without Manual Stimulation During Sex
I am a 73-year-old male with erection problems. I can enjoy sex with erections using Cialis and good lubrication, but I lose my erection quickly when either I or my wife stop the manual stimulation. It’s frustrating as I have to continue the manual stimulation — in other words, masturbation.
7 Ways Straight People Can Celebrate Pride Month
Pride Month is here and it’s not just queer folx who are celebrating! Fresh from inside queer/trans/BIPOC land, I’ve bundled my best suggestions to fuel your fire for allyship and bring some sparkle into your June. Happy Pride!
Erection problems or erectile dysfunction (ED) don't have to put a stop to a satisfying sex life. Hot Octopuss products could be the answer. Our range of penis toys can help you orgasm without an erection.
Date Night Doesn’t Work
How do you get your love life back when ‘date night’ is more likely to produce snoring than sex? We’re a couple in our 70s, and we’re struggling to avoid becoming like our friends, who tell us sex isn’t important to them anymore.
Years No Intercourse - Will it Hurt
After more than 15 years of no intercourse, will it hurt and what can I do that will help?
Interfering Family Won’t Give Me Privacy
I’m a widow, alone for the past five years. I moved in with my daughter’s family at the beginning of the pandemic so I could help teach and supervise my grandchildren while the parents worked. They think everything is going fine. I’m going nuts!
Solo Sex For Seniors
For seniors, masturbation is an important part of our self-care practice. Not only does it cause a mood boost, but it also keeps our genitals functioning and healthy. Here are the best toys and practices for seniors looking to bring a spark to their solo-sex practice.
Improve Your Sex Life In 2021: Senior Sex New Year’s Resolutions
Improve Your Sex Life In 2021: Here are Joan Price’s top tips as well as input from readers like you!
What Does ‘Good In Bed’ Mean Post Menopause?
When a woman tells me a partner is ‘really good in bed’, I always wonder what that actually means for her, especially as this often changes after menopause.
‘There Is No Word For It’ – On Language, Sex And Gender Diversity
Serge Nicholson, Sex and Relationship Therapist, on how trans and non-binary people can talk about their bodies when the traditional terms don’t fit, and ways to add gender diversity to traditional sex toy marketing.
New Sexual Pleasures For The Penis-equipped
Greetings, my fellow possessors of a particular. anatomical appendage! If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you something: what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say sex?
How To Support Your Bisexual Partner (who everyone assumes is straight)
Many folks have bisexual partners and unfortunately, this part of their identity often gets pushed to the back burner. In this article, author Sophia Reading delivers clear and insightful action steps for people who want to be more supportive of their bisexual/pansexual partners.
Kelly Gordon Bio
Kelly Gordon is Hot Octopuss' sex and disability lead. She advises the business and its customers on the best ways to enjoy great sex. Ensuring disability is no barrier to pleasure.
Joan Price On Her ‘Completely Real And Unscripted’ Film, ‘Guide To Wicked Sex: Senior Sex’
We’ve been working with senior sex educator Joan Price for several years and have learned so much about becoming a more inclusive sex toy company from her. This year she’s been extremely busy, not only with her usual work talking out loud about senior sex, but with a new book, Sex After Grief, and ‘Guide To Wicked Sex: Senior Sex’, a film she made with sex educator and porn performer jessica drake. With both launching this month, we caught up with her to find out more.
Pleasure Rebels is a weekly podcast by Hot Octopuss hosted by Kelly Gordon that talks about sex, sexuality, disability, gender and how to have better sex.
PULSE & Disability – How It Works
PULSE DUO and PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL have a unique design that specifically combats sexual dysfunction in patients with physical or neurological disabilities without the need for health practitioner intervention.
Bisexual or Bi-Curious? We got you
Bisexual: “the potential to be attracted to more than one gender.” If you’re bi or questioning here are some resources to support your journey. Let’s put an end to bi-erasure (and start feeling good about what we wank off to!) Article by M. Christian.
Masturbation Tips For Men With Mobility Issues
Mobility issues can make it difficult – or sometimes impossible – to masturbate independently. Yet as a society we’re rubbish at talking about it – sex and masturbation tips in magazines often focus on the incredibly flexible or the downright superhuman.
I Cannot Imagine Life Without Orgasms
I am 58. For six years after my husband died, I did not have sex with anyone. I masturbated and reached orgasm with no problem. I felt like I was too overweight to be with a new man. Then I lost weight and felt really good about myself.
Husband Gets Off by Himself, Doesn’t Want Me
I am 66 and my husband is 67. We married four years ago after being together just six months, but I felt I knew him, and he was a kind, genuine person. Sex was good for the first year, but since then, he hasn’t wanted to have sex with me. He is always watching pornos. He always did watch porn – he told me so.
Hot Octopuss Review of the Month: Sex Toys Over 50
Following last month’s awesome ATOM PLUS review from Violet Fenn, which got a great response when we republished it on our blog, we’ve decided to start sharing more of the amazing reviews we get for our products here. Today we’re sharing a review of PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL from Amazon that talks about using sex toys over 50.
Gay Man in India: Am I Exploiting Lonely Men?
I am a 60-year-old man who enjoys the company of senior men over 75. Being in India where homosexuality awareness is still in its early stages, few gay men of 75+ are aware that they are gay. Others suppress themselves due to religious and social skewed teachings. Hence it remains very difficult to find a partner here.
Seek Woman for Cuddling and Cunnilingus
I’m 75 years old and have had only one erection in 10 years. Yet I would love to meet women, any age, for friendship and sex. To me, sex is touching, kissing, cunnilingus, fondling, laughing, and enjoying things together.
Andrew Gurza Tries PULSE
Disability campaigner Andrew Gurza writes breathtakingly honest and insightful pieces for Huffington Post and other platforms about his experience of being a queer disabled man navigating sex and relationships. When we became aware of his work we immediately wanted to send him PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL, which was designed to be useful for some people with mobility issues. He said he’d love to try it. This was his experience.
What do you do when your brain says yes to sex but your body says no?
When blogger Zec Richardson became disabled, his first concern wasn’t that he could no longer walk. It was: ‘What about sex?”. He shares his best tips for keeping the flame burning.
Why Can’t I Orgasm after Hysterectomy?
I’m 56. About 10 years ago I had a full hysterectomy. Since then, I get all the arousal feelings, but I can’t actually orgasm. Before the operation I achieved orgasm easily and enjoyed a healthy sex life. Now I’m just left frustrated.
Great Sex, But No Intercourse
My wife and I, late 60s, married almost 48 years, have had no intercourse for years but do have a very active sex life in spite of that. About five years ago my wife’s vagina became so tight it was almost impossible to enter and uncomfortable for both of us.
His Orgasm Takes Forever
I’m 72. My husband of 50 years has trouble maintaining an erection. He desperately wants to orgasm, but it takes a lot of work on my part to get him there. We tried various sex toys, but nothing helps. His issues could be due to medications he's taking. Sex has become no fun. Help!
Disability & Sex Stigma
Leandra Vane is a sexuality writer and speaker – her groundbreaking blog The Unlaced Librarian covers body identity, relationship styles, sex and disability, kink and book reviews.
Hot Octopuss Celebrates International Day of People With Disabilities (#IDPWD)
At Hot Octopuss to celebrate International Day of People With Disabilities (#IDPWD), we are so excited to share the stories of disabled people and their journey with dating and relationships as told by them, starting with our very our Creative Director Kelly Gordon.
Partner has Peyronie's Disease
My 60-year-old partner has Peyronie’s disease. It developed two years ago. The extensive bend caused him pain, and he was unable to masturbate or have intercourse. He became depressed.
No Orgasm During Intercourse: Am I Deficient?
I was hoping my friend with benefits would become my boyfriend, but he told me that he’s not interested in romance because I don’t have an orgasm during intercourse. He said it just doesn’t feel right, and he needs a woman who knows how to get off.
Good Erections, but No Orgasm
I am 58 and enjoy sex with my wife. I take Viagra to get a good erection. For the last three weeks, I’ve had a good erection but no orgasm. After 30 minutes my body tires out and I stop.
How Do I Meet Single Women During Covid-19?
I’m 63, and my parents, age 96 and 91, live with me. I feel especially isolated during this pandemic, having very little social contact with anyone else. I would really like to at least be able to talk with a woman who doesn’t have a partner. But how?
Husband Has No Interest In Sex And Won’t Talk About It
My husband has no interest in sex and no interest in me physically anymore. We’re married 34 years and two years ago I found out he was looking at porn. At the time I’d had pelvic surgery and couldn’t have sex.
Toys for Flaccid Penis?
I’m 68, impotent from prostate cancer for 12 years, and a widower for two. My only regular release is via masturbation. I’ve been frustrated by the lack of sex toys for men with my condition. Which of Hot Octopuss toys work while completely flaccid?
Sex with ED after Prostate Surgery
After a 37-year relationship that was full of abuse and violence, I have an amazing new partner who is gentle and caring. He had his prostate removed due to cancer and no longer has erections. He believes he has nothing to offer me due to his ED after prostate surgery. I feel he is scared and vulnerable.
Young Man Desires Much Older Woman
I’m only in my early 30s, but I’m sexually attracted to women 30 years older or more. I am attracted to their softer breasts, and their maturity is a huge turn-on. I tend to have better, deeper conversations with older women.
77-Year-Old Man: Should I Marry A 30-Year-Old Woman?
I’m 77 and seeing a woman age 30. We are serious and thinking about marriage. But should I marry a 30-year-old woman? What are some things I need to consider?
‘You guys get paralysed men!’ – an ex-soldier tries PULSE
One of the best things about working at Hot Octopuss is hearing from disabled customers who’ve found PULSE enhances their sex lives. We got this email from Jon, a former US soldier and paraplegic gay guy, and we were so chuffed to read it we got his permission to share it here. Be warned, it’s not quite NSFW!
Leandra Vane on Orgasm Hunting With Nerve Damage
Leandra Vane, otherwise known as The Unlaced Librarian, wrote an excellent blog for us about disability and sex stigma a couple of years ago. Now she’s about to relaunch her website, we’re delighted to have her guest posting for us again. Leandra has nerve damage in over half her body, but she still loves having orgasms.
A New Focus on Pleasure as We Age
Major studies recently concluded that we are having less sex than we were a decade ago. Is it true? Read on to find out more.
Accessible Sex Toys: How Can The Sex Toy Industry Be More Inclusive?
It’s Sexual Health Week 2019, and the focus is on relationships, sex and disability. At Hot Octopuss we believe sexual expression and pleasure is a basic human right, whatever your ability.
Sex Toys For Perimenopause
Changes to libido and sexual response are normal during perimenopause. Pleasure products can help. Nicci Talbot shares her top sex toys for perimenopause.
Sex and Spinal Cord Injury: The Story of PULSE
We were catching up with Alix Fox’s brilliant ‘Close Encounters’ podcast recently when one story really stood out. Simon, one of Alix’s interviewees, talked about his experiences with spinal cord injury and how his injuries had affected his sex life.
Kelly Gordon: Best Accessible Sex Toys
Kelly Gordon’s personal mission is to bust the myth that disabled people are sexually limited. After trying as many products as she can get her hands on, she reveals her favourite accessible sex toys.
The Only Foreplay Secret You Need To Know
Want to become a master of foreplay? Feel like you need to brush up on – or level up – your foreplay skills? Well, while you’ll find a host of websites promising you Ten Foreplay Tips To Drive Her Wild In Bed or Six Foreplay Secrets Only Sexperts Know, we’re just here to give you the only foreplay secret that matters.
Sex Only Two Or Three Times In Ten Years!
My husband stopped having sex with me the day we got married. I am a 49-year-old woman who married an affectionate, caring man ten years ago, after living together for a year and a half. At times, he was emotionally abusive with angry episodes. Outside of those, he is physically affectionate, kissing and cuddling me — yet our marriage has been sexless other than two or three times in ten years. I feel rejected and lonely, and I crave sexual intimacy.
How To Talk About Sex Toys With A Partner
We call them “sex toys,” but vibrators and other pleasure stimulators are far more than “toys,” especially for seniors. They’re orgasm tools.
91-Year-Old Widow Seeks Live Guy
I want a guy who is not just breathing but alive. Most men even close to my age are so far over the hill they can’t remember where the hill was.
National Orgasm Day: How Orgasms Change As You Get Older
Orgasms change as you get older. But, says Joan Price in this piece for National Orgasm Day, they can be richly satisfying with the right stimulation and an open mind.
Kelly Perks-Bevington: Being A Disabled Girl On Tinder
It’s Kelly Perks-Bevington again… I wrote about sex and my disability for Hot Octopuss a few months ago and they’ve asked me back for a second piece. This time it’s a little different, and a little unexpected! This blog is all about re-entering the world of dating, and dating as a disabled woman. I’m not going to bore you with my relationship status but lets just say… ‘It’s complicated’.
Senior Sex 2020 Roundup
Ready for 2021 yet? At Hot Octopuss one of the highlights of 2020 was the launch of our Senior Sex Hub. Before we go racing into the new year, resident sexpert Joan Price gives a roundup of the most popular writings from the senior sex blog and advice column.
No Sex All Year – What Should We Do?
I am 50 and she is 59. We’ve been married for two years. At first, we had sex all the time. But in 2020, we didn’t have sex all year. She tells me I have to tell her when I want sex, but when I do, she always says we’ll do it tomorrow. Is there anything we can do?
Let’s Watch Sexy Movies Again!
When we were younger, we’d watch sexy movies together. Now we’re in our 70s and I’d like to go back to watching porn together. We still enjoy sex, although I have ED. We love to touch (and suck on) each other. We’ve tried some toys, too.
We Can’t Talk About Sex!
I’ve never been able to tell a woman what I like and not be embarrassed about it. The way I was raised, even the natural pleasure of touching myself was looked down upon. Now at 54, it’s not that easy to make my 29-year marriage better or know if I should just get out of it. She wasn’t even sexual when we got married so I don’t know what her deal is.
I Use a Vibrator, But No Success Reaching Orgasm
I’m 55, and for the past few months I haven’t been able to achieve an orgasm. I use a vibrator, but no success. I have attempted to create satisfaction multiple times, but nothing happens. It feels great but it’s quite disappointing because the result is nothing.
Married Woman Turned On by Lesbian Porn
I’m a 65-year-old woman, married to a man for 45 years. We are good together, happy together, but we haven't had sex in 30 years. I watch porn and masturbate, but what really arouses me is lesbian porn. Am I the only married woman who would like to experiment with another woman my age? Is this a common urge for happily married seniors?
Attracted to Mother-in-Law, Should I Tell Her?
I am 58 and about to be separated from my wife. My mother-in-law is 80, and I have been attracted to her for about 30 years. I have this gut feeling she is attracted to me, too. How would I go about telling her how I feel?
Wife is My Caregiver, No Sex
I am a 69-year-old male who has had a diagnosis of ALS for two years. My wife is 65 and my primary caregiver. Her caregiving includes cooking meals, lifting me out of chairs and beds, managing meds, and being sure I haven’t fallen, since I can’t get up on my own.
No Sex 20 Years, Craving FWB
My wife and I have been married 50 years minus 6 months of a non-sexual separation in the early 90s that was my choice. Sorry to say the relationship is the same. There has been no intimacy for the past 20 years. I crave a “friend with benefits” (FWB).
Senior Sex Stories During Lockdown
When Joan Price asked her newsletter subscribers how they were dealing with sex during lockdown, many said their sex lives were as good as before, or better. Here are their senior sex stories.