The happiest and most sexually satisfied seniors who write to me are not those who never have issues — rather, they’re the ones who communicate concerns and figure out inventive senior sex solutions and adaptations. Here’s Part 2 of what my readers tell me. Read Part 1 here.
“Sex for me is most completely satisfying with a partner; however, self-pleasuring is also very enjoyable. The wonderful sensations provided and heightened by sex toys add measurably to the pleasure of sex, partnered or solo.” (77)
“I’m a long-time widower, no sex partner for three years. All my sex is though masturbation. I read erotica and watch porn videos regularly. My sex drive still is incredibly high, but orgasm is somewhat elusive. A masturbation session that does not culminate in ejaculation still calms me somehow. I find that surprising.” (78)
“My idea of sex has changed so much. It can be an evening of making out and taking turns caressing each other’s bodies, which may or may not lead to other things. Morning back scratches and back rubs are almost as good as sex. It’s sometimes quickie oral sex. Most of all, it’s being so close that we feel loved and intimate.” (60)
“We’ve settled into a Sunday afternoon ‘play date.’ It’s a little like exercise — we don’t have to want to, we just have to show up. A little mind altering, pillow talk, lube and vibrator handy, and we let nature take its course. Age affects our flexibility and stamina, but we know what works. I usually have an orgasm before penetration, sometimes after as well. It’s not perfect, but it’s as good as it can be at this age, and we consider ourselves lucky!” (75 and 67)
We can’t count on sex staying the same. If we respond to each change as a challenge and an opportunity rather than an ending, we discover ways of remaining sexually vibrant that are satisfying, surprising – even thrilling. Meet sexual changes with an open mind and a spirit of adventure.
“I believed sex meant penis-in-vagina intercourse until orgasm. But now, as a woman in a relationship with a woman, it’s all body parts and toys and talking. Sex now is any pleasure practice we share.” (64)
“After my wife passed, I resigned myself to the end of grand romance with sex included. Then a lady my age opened me to enjoyment without any judgement or reservations. We worked through my hang ups about ED. Our adventures are almost ceremonial! I’ve been introduced to Tantric and Kama Sutra awareness, massage, and patience. She fulfils my desires without guilt or distress. I erased the word ‘taboo’ from my mind, thanks to my new love and outlook!” (71)
“Five years ago, my then husband of 20 years and I had a non-existent sex life. I was withholding and he stopped trying. Later I met someone who woke up my senses. Amazingly, after that ran its course, I met the person I'm with now, with whom I want to have sex all the time.” (60)
I used to have orgasms from intercourse. Then my partner had prostate cancer, and we came up with other ways to pleasure each other. Now intercourse does nothing for me, but I’m having the best sex of my life with a new partner with no penetration at all. I have three or four orgasms every time. We use touch, toys, and oral. We both have bone melting orgasms. He has the magic touch, and the Magic Wand does the rest.” (75)
It’s never too late for love and sexual pleasure. It might take opening your mind to new ways of having sex and new ways of connecting with a partner. Ask yourself, is your sex life what you’d like? If not, what are some ways you might explore to bring more sexual pleasure and satisfaction into your life?
~Read Seniors Speak about Sex, Part 1 here~