Young Man Desires Much Older Woman

"I’m only in my early 30s, but I’m sexually attracted to women 30 years older or more. I am attracted to their softer breasts, and their maturity is a huge turn-on. I tend to have better, deeper conversations with older women."

"Dating sites are a perfect way for me to meet older women, though I have also met them doing normal activities, like shopping in the mall or picking up groceries at the supermarket. I have been sexually active with women that are older than me, but never 30 years older, which I desire."

"Do you find that younger men, more than ever, are dying to be sexually active with mature women? Also is it strange for a younger man to be sexually attracted to women 30 years older or more?"

Joan answers:

I’ve been hearing from young men who desire much older women the whole 15 years I’ve been doing this work. Usually they ask me how to meet and approach older women — read my blog post “Young Man Desires Older Women” for conversation tips. Many older women enjoy the energy of younger men and their willingness to learn how to give sexual pleasure.

You ask if your attraction to women twice your age is strange. People want what they want — they don’t choose what (or whom) they desire and what (or whom) they fantasize about. You’ll find sex researcher Justin Lehmiller’s book, Tell Me What You Want, informative and reassuring.

In my view, there’s nothing wrong with whatever sexual behavior two (or more) people enthusiastically enjoy that is consensual for all involved and doesn’t hurt anyone else. It’s a matter of finding partners who want what you do.

Dating sites are more likely than supermarket conversations to lead to a sexual interaction. You can spell out what you’re looking for, even select what age group will see your profile. In your profile, I suggest you highlight your qualities and what you value about older women rather than appearing hungry for sex with them, unless you’re on a hook-up site rather than a dating site.