No Sex All Year – What Should We Do?

By Joan Price | 16 September 2021

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Joan Price


Joan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She is the author of four books about sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and her latest: Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Her award-winning blog has been offering senior sex news, views, and sex toy reviews since 2005. At age 76, Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex—partnered or solo. She is the co-creator of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex”. Find Joan at

"I am 50 and she is 59. We’ve been married for two years. At first, we had sex all the time. But in 2020, we didn’t have sex all year. She tells me I have to tell her when I want sex, but when I do, she always says we’ll do it tomorrow. Is there anything we can do?"

Joan answers:

Clearly there’s a big problem in your relationship. I can’t tell from what you said whether your wife doesn’t want sex at all, doesn’t want it with you, wants a different kind of sex, finds sex uncomfortable, or any number of other possibilities. I asked you a few questions in email and got very little information, so I’m guessing that the two of you don’t communicate easily.

You can’t solve the problem until you know what it is. I strongly advise you to work with a good therapist or couples counselor to get the problem(s) out in the open, talk about what is preventing intimacy in your marriage, and figure out where to go from here. Therapists are working during the pandemic via phone and video call, so please don’t put this off—your marriage may depend on it.

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