Hot Octopuss Logo. click here to go to the home page
gender symbol. click here to go to the lgbt pagemagnifying glass icon. click here to search for something.

91-Year-Old Widow Seeks Live Guy

By Joan Price | 18 January 2022

hero background image
an image of the author of this article

Joan Price


Joan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She is the author of four books about sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and her latest: Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Her award-winning blog has been offering senior sex news, views, and sex toy reviews since 2005. At age 76, Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex—partnered or solo. She is the co-creator of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex”. Find Joan at

"I want a guy who is not just breathing but alive. Most men even close to my age are so far over the hill they can’t remember where the hill was."

"I’m looking for a clean-shaven, younger businessman or professional, working part-time at something that keeps his brain and body challenged. I’m not looking for someone to support me, nor will I support a man."

"My major dilemma is my age. I’m 91 and a widow. I look much younger than my age, and my work keeps my brain active and challenged. Men, even close to my age, are over the hill in so many ways, yet they are looking for someone younger than they are. Our culture attaches enormous significance to chronological age, but that does not determine mental or physical competence. At this stage of life, why does age matter? Either you still ‘got it goin’ on’ or you don’t."

Joan answers:

It wouldn’t take much editing for you to turn what you just wrote to me into a powerful profile on a dating app so your ‘live guy’ can find you. Word it so that you’re inviting the positive instead of just rejecting the negative, e.g. “Are you the rare man close to my age who’s on top of the hill instead of over it?” instead of “Most men even close to my age are so far over the hill they can’t remember where the hill was”.

You said you’re looking for a younger partner. That’s fine if that’s your preference, but realize that you’re chiding men your age for doing the same thing. I invite you to avoid rejecting men in your age group because you’ve met some duds. Duds of all ages inhabit our world, on and off the dating sites, but there are also some fine, lively, interesting folks – like you! – who are looking for their matches. Every loser you encounter gets you closer to meeting a winner. My webinar “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?” gives 90 minutes of useful advice about DWO (dating while older).

Related products

30% Off
pink amo bullet vibrator

AMO - Bullet Vibrator

£ 49.95 34.97



£ 59.95

learn more
40% Off


£ 89.95 53.97

learn more

Sign up for emails

Yes, I want to receive exclusive email offers, sexy advice and get 10% off my order. By Subscribing you agree to our privacy policy. We will not share or sell your personal information.