Attracted to Mother-in-Law, Should I Tell Her?

By Joan Price | 17 January 2022

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Joan Price


Joan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She is the author of four books about sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and her latest: Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Her award-winning blog has been offering senior sex news, views, and sex toy reviews since 2005. At age 76, Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex—partnered or solo. She is the co-creator of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex”. Find Joan at

"I am 58 and about to be separated from my wife. My mother-in-law is 80, and I have been attracted to her for about 30 years. I have this gut feeling she is attracted to me, too. How would I go about telling her how I feel? She is widowed and probably hasn’t had sex for about 20 years. If I could just cuddle with her sometimes, that would be enough satisfaction for me. I should mention that I love my wife, but she wants to separate. I still can’t help being attracted to my mother-in-law. I have always been attracted to more mature women."

Joan answers:

I’m not going to help you tell your mother-in-law that you’re sexually attracted to her, because I think that would be a bad idea. Sure, there’s a remote chance she feels the same way about you, but there’s a much greater chance that she doesn’t. You’d potentially wreck your relationship with her and any chance that you and your wife could reconcile.

You say you have a “gut feeling” mother-in-law feels the same way — based on what? Does she act seductively towards you, or is she just friendly with a flirtatious edge? You figure she hasn’t had sex for 20 years — has she confided this? If not, you don’t know what happens in her private life. Even if she’s desperately horny, she’d likely not choose her daughter’s soon-to-be-ex-husband.

We can’t control what sexual fantasies turn us on, and I’m not judging or shaming your erotic fantasy. But I think this is a fantasy best kept private for your solo self-pleasuring.

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