9 Secret Tips Every Couple Must Try In Bed For Great Sex
15 November 2021
Fulfilling sex is subjective. What constitutes great and satisfying sex is definitely relative to the individual. It’s not a one size fits all.
For most people, new relationships or situationships offer excitement which often translates as good sex. Whether it actually is or not, is beside the point. The buzz and newness of it and the intimate discovery of another body, is enough to keep you turned on, for a time.
But couples: what happens when the buzz of getting to explore someone new, becomes familiar?
Once the shiny, brand-new feel wears off, an individual really gets to see the sexual side of their relationship for what it is.
You may find yourself asking the following;
Is it as gratifying as you initially thought?
Does your partner truly understand what gets you off?
Do you know what your partner likes?
Are you having sex for self or do you intend to please your significant other?
The answers are not always as available as we would like.
Interestingly, society would have us believe; it is men who are the ones that get itchy feet in a relationship first.
Despite being conditioned to think being in a relationship is one of life’s main goals, women are in fact the ones that tend to feel trapped and unsatisfied, long before men!
Biologists refer to this phenomenon as ‘habituation to a stimulus’ which in a sexual context, refers to being bored of sex in the same way with the same person over a period of time.
In order to make sex work in the long term, it is crucial to understand the commitment to making your partner happy, is a journey rather than a single destination!
Here are 9 awesome sex tips and toys that will set your bedroom (or wherever you choose to do it) on fire!
1. Stimulate the largest sex organ of all - Your brain.
The truth is, it all starts in the brain. Whilst yes, the genitals are key when it comes to pleasure, it’s actually the brain that does all the work.
The brain is responsible for releasing all the hormones that contribute to us feeling good, as well as the chemicals and signals that are needed in preparation for sex.
Other ways of stimulating the brain include; talking dirty to each other, flirting, sexting, playing music, lighting candles, burning essential oils and sensual massage.
It is important that we remember, a relaxed mind is fundamental when it comes to sex and pleasure.
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3. Try out new things.
Just like introducing sex toys into the equation, exploring other areas can be exciting and eye opening.
Provided you both consent, why not experiment with hot and cold sensations i.e. ice cubes and hot wax?
Explore submission and domination.
Watch porn or listen to audio porn together.
Read erotic fiction.
There are many options but of course, only move forward with something new if you are both fully on board and consent is given.
4. Kiss each other!
Routine can sometimes result in the basics being overlooked.
Think back to how sexy it was to kiss when you first got together. Kissing was everything!
Kissing made your heart rate increase, you felt so good and it was so sensual. Make a point of claiming that back!
Our lips are major erogenous zones. Simply allowing your lips to touch and your tongues to explore each other’s mouths, can result in a greater feeling of closeness.
5. Masturbate together
Mutual masturbation is another great way of engaging sexually.
Whether you choose to pleasure yourself, together or opt to masturbate each other, you can benefit from a fulfilling sexual experience without penetration.
Mutual masturbation can provide a truly satisfying sensory experience. Not only do you get to watch your partner masturbate, but you also get to hear how they respond to touch.
Mutually masturbating can also give you first hand insight into what pleases your partner – so it’s a learning curve too. And of course, pleasure is almost guaranteed!
6. Be body positive.
Having poor self-image can impact the sexual desire of both men and women. It can even interfere with your ability to become aroused.
As a result of negative body image, relationships can become affected.
Reminding your partner of how beautiful they are to you, is a great way to build up their self-esteem. Don’t just wait until sex is on the cards though, remind them often.
Practising mindfulness during sex is another effective way to shift focus from any negative thoughts one might have about their body.
Being in tune with what your partner enjoys most and therefore, pleasing them, could prove successful when it comes to helping them to love all that they are, including their body.
The importance of communication will always be one of the major factors that make or break successful relationships.
Sex provides pleasure, intimacy and closeness, so when it comes to having good sex, being able to articulate what you find enjoyable is so important.
Equally, it’s crucial that your partner can do the same too! Expecting someone to know what you like is unfair and can be pressurising.
Communication and good sex absolutely go hand in hand.
8. Remove expectations
Expectations cause pressure and pressure leads to unsatisfying sex.
A common expectation is the presumption of how many times one should be actually having sex per week. There really shouldn’t be any pressure to engage sexually. It should come naturally and freely.
Sex should never be a chore!
9. Don’t check out of the relationship!
If the relationship means something to you, always try and work through any difficulties you may face.
Whenever there are issues in the bedroom, they can be addressed and dealt with provided all parties are fully invested.
Always put in the effort– the return is usually worth it!
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