Question:
My husband is post brainstem stroke quad/hemiparesis. He has some sensation, and some spontaneous semi-stiffies, (oh and a suprapubic catheter, so that is not in the way) but trying to figure out how to get that with stimulation? Advice appreciated. I was contemplating prostate stimulation.
A: Hi there, thank you so much for sharing and it sounds like you’re navigating this with a lot of care and curiosity, which is great! I think whats important to remember is that pleasure and intimacy are still very much possible, even if it looks a little different than before.
The fact that your husband has some sensation and experiences spontaneous erections is a positive sign and prostate stimulation could absolutely be something worth exploring if you both feel comfortable and confident to do so. Many people find it extremly satisfying and it can sometimes lead to orgasm without an erection.
You might also want to explore other forms of touch and stimulation that are much slower like a sensual massage, vibrations, temperatures, or even erotic audio. Sometimes it’s about finding your new normal and exploring what works now rather then forcing something that might not.
If you’re open to it, working with a sex therapist who has experience with sex and disabilities can offer you both extra support as you explore this together.
April Maria (Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach)
