Question:
I’ve lost my libido and have minimal sexual response left; is there any way to turn that around? My husband was always the lower-interest partner, and now we’ve almost switched places. He’s willing, patient, and supportive, but I really miss our sexual activity. Even my favourite magic vibrator doesn’t help me much. Do I have to settle for occasional pleasure when it happens?
A: Losing your libido can feel scary and confusing, but the good news is desire isn’t something you either “have” or “don’t.” It’s responsive, it changes with life, and it can be rebuilt. Sometimes it just goes into hiding, and we have to gently bring it back out.
Low libido is almost always a response to something, whether it be stress, hormones, emotional load, medication, how you feel about the sex you are having or simply a body that hasn’t felt supported or excited for a while. It doesn’t mean you’re broken.
The key is taking the pressure off and slowly re-introducing pleasure in ways that feel safe and enjoyable and pressure-free.
Try exploring what your body still responds to without expecting instant desire, and explore what today’s version of you needs to spark the mood.
A great book to explore this in much more depth is '
So yes, you can absolutely turn this around. And no, you don’t have to settle.
April Maira (Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach)
