ANAL SEX: GETTING STARTED

7 August 2023

Let’s start with a disclaimer: nobody HAS to do anal sex. Or want to try it.

There’s no shame in not being curious, in rejecting it straight out as something you just don’t fancy. But by the very same token, as one of the more traditionally taboo sex acts around, there’s equal amounts of no-shame in being extremely curious, wanting to try it, and - since it’s definitely not as simple as vaginal sex in terms of preparation - wondering just exactly how to get started.

And we’re here for you on that! Anal sex can be thrilling and organsmic, but also intimidating and tricky. And if you read all the articles, you’ll also be concerned (and possibly misinformed) about pain, health and damage to your body. So, for first timers wanting to give it a try (and if you like it, maybe even fold it permanently into your future sexual repertoire!), the main thing you need to know about anal is that preparation is EVERYTHING.

PROTECTION IS ESSENTIAL

Just because you can’t get pregnant from anal, doesn’t mean you can’t catch a disease - always use condoms. The walls of the anal passage are thin and easily broken, so it’s really not a negotiable point unless you’re with someone you trust implicitly.

It’s also vital to change the condom (or clean your strap-on) if you’re swapping between anal and vaginal sex, as it's really easy to catch a vaginal infection if the bacteria from the anus are passed on (which they will be, if you don’t keep clean!). And you REALLY don’t want the reason you’re choosing anal on any particular night to be because your (or your partner’s) vagina is out of action because you forgot to change condoms, or thoroughly clean your strap-on the last time.

Female bottom in lacy black knickers with a red light shining on one side

PREPARATION IS VITAL

We’re not saying anal is unnatural by any means - but it IS a tight fit! Hence why it’s fun, but also why it can be tricky for your body. It’s important for men, but more important for women, because female pelvic floor systems are more complicated, and more easily thrown out of whack.

To prep for anal, you’re looking at cleaning your back passage to minimise the appearance of fecal matter (though it will happen - so get on board!), and making sure you use plenty of lube (we like water based as it works with most toys, but you can also get special lube that relaxes your sphincter) to avoid damage but also, to heighten the pleasure. For cleaning, if you want to douche, it’s your call, but a good manual cleaning session is also fine. Then drink a lot of water in the hours before, which will also help clear you out.

If you’ve never inserted anything inside your rectum before, we also suggest a solo fingering session where you (for want of a better expression!) get to know your own sphincter, and how it responds to slow exploration. Anal beads are also a great exploratory toy to help ease you into the feeling. And remember - go at your own pace, and stop if anything hurts or feels bad.

And did we mention you can never use enough lube?

CONVERSATION IS EVERYTHING

Anal sex for first timers is going to be much more pleasurable with total trust - and no, we’re not saying DON’T be adventurous on a one night stand. What we’re saying is that the first time you try anal can be uncomfortable and awkward. So, in an ideal world, your partner would be someone you can talk to without embarrassment, and ask for what you want and don’t want in the moment.

So, keep communication as open as possible - and that includes non verbal cues. If you’re on the receiving end of anal, it’s ideal if you’re vocal. But if you’re on the giving end, it’s equally important to keep looking at your partner and watching for signs on their face and in their body that they like - or don’t like - what you’re doing.

It’s also vital to build up to it - and you can keep this in the area, with rimming, fingering or massage to make sure you’re relaxed and ready for penetration. And again, keep checking in with each other - let your partner know what feels good in real time will help you have a great time - even on your first time!

Ready to try anal? Ease in with PleX with Flex, our best-selling vibrating anal plug that’s perfect for beginners (and old timers!).

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