Getting Deep: Vaginal Orgasms
GET DEEP
Statistically, at least 80% of women have been there. And by “there”, we mean nodding along uncomfortably while your best friend rapturously tells you that her intense vaginal orgasm during penetration was the best one she’s ever had. Leaving you thinking “It took me YEARS to even have clit orgasms and now you’re telling me there’s a better one? And from penetration? Is there something wrong with me?”
Well, the good news is, there’s nothing wrong with you - though your friend needs to get on board with not feeding into an unhelpful orgasm hierarchy narrative in casual conversation with no regard for how that makes others feel if anatomy hasn’t made it quite as easy for them! But we’ll let you take it up with her.
Girltalk aside, the stats speak for themselves. According to a 2022 study by Pleasure Better, a mere 18.7% of women orgasm from penetration alone, a percentage that increases when you add external stimulation. But what of the internal vaginal orgasm, and the elusive G spot - is it real or did Freud just make it up to drive us crazy?
In her famous 1970 essay "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm," feminist Anne Koedt wrote, "Freud contended that the clitoral orgasm was adolescent, and that upon puberty, when began having intercourse with men, women should transfer the center of the orgasm to the vagina. The vagina, it was assumed, was able to produce a parallel, but more mature, orgasm than the clitoris. Much work was done to elaborate on this theory, but little was done to challenge its basic assumptions."
Perhaps then, it’s actually more helpful to think of the spectrum of female pleasure as something to explore, not levels to achieve. And with a bit of exploration, you could become a true pioneer of your own pleasure - whatever path it takes. So open your mind - and the rest will follow.
TIP OF THE ICEBERG
Most people think of the clitoris as an external pleasure button and it definitely is that. But it’s so much more. It’s made entirely from erectile tissue, the same type that’s inside the penis, and it’s much bigger than you think - it’s wishbone shaped and wraps around your entire inside canal. When you think about it as the much larger pleasure organ that it is (and remember, it’s the only organ that’s solely for pleasure), you can see how a vaginal orgasm that 80% of women haven’t experienced may not be a myth, or a source or jealousy - but possible for all.
With or without a partner, experimenting with vibrators and dildos is exactly what you need to really explore inside yourself. When you play around with vibration, thrust, angle and placement to see if anything starts to feel good, you often come up with a brand new path to pleasure. Which leads us neatly to…
THE DEEP END: A GUIDE
If you haven’t yet had an internal orgasm with penetrative sex, internal sex toys are a brilliant way to play. However, internal toys aren’t for everyone - and consent is everything. But if it’s just fear of the unknown holding you back from penetrative toys like Kurve (engineered specifically to give internal orgasms), it’s worth exploring - so you can one day access all the different types of pleasure your body could be giving you. So here’s a (by no means exhaustive list) to help you start to tiptoe over that hurdle.
Can a dildo or vibrator get lost inside you?
In your vagina? Absolutely not.
Can I push too far?
You can’t push harder or further than an actual human with a penis, so again, absolutely not. But like with anything you insert, you’ll have to find a pace and speed that work for you, and if anything hurts, stop.
I’m too embarrassed to buy one.
Thank goodness for the internet! You can do a lot more research online, and buy the perfect starter vibe that’s the right size, and noise-level for your comfort.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
That’s fine, nobody does when they start. Sex toys exist to help you, not scare you, so start simple - we recommend Kurve. Not only does it vibrate two different ways internally, it’s just as good when used on the outside of your vulva, or to stimulate your clit, so you can use it to build up your desire (and confidence) externally before you think about penetration.
I don’t know what size to get.
Every body is different - size, shape, tilt, depth. Just because the world’s biggest shiniest dildo gives your friend vaginal orgasms, doesn’t mean it’s going to hit your spots. You probably already know what you like size-wise from previous penetrative sex, so do some research online beforehand and get something that works for you.
I read this article about the plastics they use in sex toys being poisonous.
This one’s easy - 1) Step away from the tabloid and 2) we only recommend sex toys made from medical-grade silicone. Like everything at Hot Octopuss!
DISCOVER ENDLESS DEPTHS
Just like every good explorer, you should never head south on a mission unprepared. So, here are our insider (ahem!) tips on vaginal orgasms - including some crucial mood-setting.
Get hot.
You’re always more sensitive when you’re warm, and you’re more likely to orgasm when you’re turned on, so do your favourite thing - take a bath, turn up the heating, watch some porn - whatever gets you hot.
Lube is key.
With the possible exception of a child covered in jelly near a wasps' nest, everything is better lubricated - everything! So make sure you have plenty on hand.
Start shallow.
Swirl the well-lubricated object of your choice around the opening of your vagina in a circular motion against its walls - like you’re old-timey grinding corn. Gradually increase the depth as you work your way to the very back (when you’re ready), pressing into the sides as well.
Do your Kegels.
Squeeze and release your pelvic floor muscles every half-second while the toy is inside you - this increases blood flow and mimics an orgasmic response, which makes the body want to respond in kind.
Change tempo.
Alternate between shallow, slow, gentle thrusts and deep, hard thrusts, as the outer part of the canal tends to be sensitive to light touch. The deeper you go, the more your body will react to harder pressure over a lighter touch.
Try new angles.
If you’re playing solo, experiment with angles that might stimulate neglected internal areas!
Add external stimulation.
This one is really a no-brainer.
THE INSIDE TRACK
If you’re up for exploring new sensations with internal toys, we highly recommend one of our bestsellers - Kurve. With its super squidgy tip, pioneering dual-motors (bass and treble), 25 speed modes, and 5 vibration patterns, it’s the perfect tool to go as slow and steady or fast and furious as you like.
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