Question:
Why do some men not get erections and lose sexual urges as they grow older with their partner? Have they lost sexual attraction to their partner or is it a physical/mental lack of stimuli?
A: There are many reasons why some men experience a loss of sexual desire as they grow older, and it’s rarely as simple as “they’re not attracted to their partner anymore.”
As we age, many factors may play a part.
Physical: testosterone levels gradually decline, blood flow can decrease, and certain health conditions or medications can affect desire and arousal. Speaking with a doctor can help identify what’s going on and rule out any medical issues.
Mental: stress, anxiety, and performance pressure can interrupt your libido. Worrying about maintaining an erection often fuels a cycle of anxiety that makes it harder to relax and enjoy sex.
Relational: long-term relationships can shift from novelty to comfort. Desire often thrives on excitement and variety, so finding new ways to connect, flirt, or explore each other’s fantasies can help reignite that spark.
In short, it’s usually not a loss of attraction but rather a combination of things that need to be understood and supported.
April Maira (Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach)
