Continuing our series of guides to the best Christmas presents, we couldn’t resist the urge to write one that was entirely not safe for work – and not safe for family either.
Fill your loved one’s stocking with chocolate and satsumas, but if you want to buy them one of these you’re best off getting them to open it when no one else is watching. Here are 10 incredible sex toys that make for awesome Christmas presents…
Nipple press set – Babeland, $30
You’ve heard of nipple clamps, right? Well this is a slightly different twist on the nipple clamping idea. Two pretty metal rings, each with four screws around the outside, which can be adjusted to squeeze and pinch the nipples to varying degrees of comfort.
Want to see more gifts that touch on pain as well as pleasure? Check out our gift guide for BDSM fans.
Oxballs Fist cock sheath – Clonezone, £74.99
Our pals over at Clonezone always have a dazzling array of pretty, creative sex toys. Not least this cock sheath that’s designed to add girth, using TPR shaped like a human hand. Not for the faint of heart, but definitely for the girth or size fans among you!
PULSE III SOLO – Hot Octopuss, £99
You’d certainly have a job explaining this to your family, but if they’re open minded it’s an interesting story to tell. PULSE was developed off the back of medical technology which induced orgasm in men with severe spinal cord injury. Previously unable to get erect and ejaculate, the oscillating tech (which we adapted to create PULSE) mad it possible for them to orgasm where previously they could not. Read one of our favourite reviews of PULSE to see why it’s still one of our best selling sex toys today.
Liberator wedge – Lovehoney, £89.99
We love sexual positioning products, and Liberator makes lots of great wedges and cushions that can help you achieve your favourite sex positions. They help make different kinds of sex more accessible for people with mobility issues, and mean you can achieve angles and positions you may not be able to try out otherwise!
Sex stool position aid – Spokz, £75
Every home should have one! This stool can be used in a variety of different sex positions. Not only is it – like Liberator – good for achieving different angles and positions, but the springy fabric straps in the middle of the seat are excellent for helping aid ‘bounce’ when you’re having sex in cowgirl/cowboy position.
Quickie cuffs – Jo Divine £11.99
We’re a big fan of sex toys that are easy to use, and while traditional handcuffs with tiny keys can be a bit of a pain – especially if you have arthritis or other issues that make fiddly restraints difficult – these cuffs can simply be slipped on and off. Easy to use, comfortable, and a complete bargain: we like Christmas presents that don’t break the bank!
ATOM PLUS – Hot Octopuss, £69
Most sex toys make for great gifts because both the giver and the receiver get to benefit from them, but never has this been more true than with the Atom Plus. Atom Plus features world first technology that you won’t find in any other cock ring. One powerful vibration motor sits at the top of the shaft, designed to stimulate the clitoris during sex, and another – equally powerful – vibrating motor sits at the bottom of the cock ring, designed to stimulate your perineum while you wear it.
Lockable toy case – Pleasure Chest, $34.95
Of course it’s not just on Christmas Day when you might need to hide the sexier Christmas presents from your family. If you have children/housemates/visiting relatives around a lot, buying yourself a special, lockable case to keep your sex toys in is a very good move. This one from the Pleasure Chest is pretty, solid and comes with a number combination lock, so you don’t ever need to worry about finding the key when you’re desperate to get down to it!
The Queen Bee – Hot Octopuss, £99
Almost as soon as we launched the PULSE, we started getting messages from people who wanted to try out the oscillating rumble of PulsePlate technology, but in a toy designed for clitoral stimulation. Enter the Queen Bee: a wand-style sex toy that has a wide, oscillating plate that delivers an incredibly deep, rumbly stimulation. It’s fully waterproof, comes with a really easy magnetic charging port, and delivers a totally unique kind of stimulation: file this under ‘Christmas presents that will be played with long after Boxing Day is over’!
Vibrator gripping aid – Spokz, £47.95
If you find it tricky to grip sex toys – whether due to arthritis, cerebral palsy, or other things which can hamper dexterity – this genius invention will help you get off exactly how you like, without worrying that you’ll drop the sex toy at a crucial moment. The grip strap can be adjusted to help you hang on to your toy (we’d recommend the Queen Bee, but we’re biased like that!), it’s easy to wash, and the website euphemistically explains that it will withstand regular use “even for strenuous activities.”
Best Christmas presents: more inspiration!
Found something you fancy? Grab your sexy Christmas presents now, and make sure you’ve found a good hiding place for them before they arrive! If nothing on this list takes your fancy, check out some of our other Christmas present guides, and keep an eye on this blog for more ideas in the run-up to Christmas itself.
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