When it comes to sex toys, some people focus on quality, others on design, while frugal people look at cost. Most of us, of course, consider all three – a sex toy that’s unique, looks cool and doesn’t completely destroy your wallet is the ultimate holy grail.
But not for luxury sex toy designer Colin Burn. Apart from having a fairly awkward name for someone whose work involves genitals, Colin is a jeweller and vibrator enthusiast with a penchant for diamonds and bling.
Profiled in Thrillist recently, Colin explains that he was disappointed with some of the ‘luxury’ vibrators on the market. When the world got excited about a ‘gold’ vibrator, Colin was disappointed that it was only plastic coated in gold – surely there was demand for a vibe that had just a little bit more sparkle? After a lot of product development – gold and silver are, of course, too heavy to make a completely solid gold vibrator from – the ‘Casanova’ was born.
Now, 13 years after he started development, Colin has a huge range of pricey vibrators – from a $29,000 bullet to the $1m vibrator itself. It’s cast from solid platinum and encrusted with white diamonds, South Sea pearls and royal blue sapphires. The target market, presumably, is limited to bankers, the Queen and Scrooge McDuck.
World’s Most Expensive Sex Toys
It’s not the first time someone’s tried to entice the 1% to splash out on sex toys. In May this year, Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop published a sex issue, which included a recommendation for a 14 karat gold vibrator. Compared to Colin’s $1m beast it’s a snip at just $15,000. If you’re after something more dick-focused the Jcobra silver cock ring will set you back a mere $1,650.
Of course not all pricey sex toys are expensive because they’re covered in gold – some are simply very expensive to design and make, like the Korean-made ‘Dream Love Chair’. This is one of our favourite super-expensive sex toys because it serves a very specific purpose – it’s designed to help people with mobility issues have sex in various positions. Of course anyone can use it, as long as you have a spare $6,000.
Sex Toys: The Problem With Bling
We don’t really expect you to run out and buy a sex toy for $1m. But even if you did, you might find yourself disappointed. After all, some of the properties of materials like gold, diamonds, and pearls mean that the toy itself might not be that fun. Sex toys like the PULSE II DUO (which comes with a price tag that doesn’t have nearly so many zeroes) might have fewer diamonds stuck to the body, but on balance we think that’s a good thing – silicone is much softer and feels a thousand times better when it’s pressed against your penis. Gold might look cool, but there’s no lube in the world that will make it feel as good against your skin as silicone.
What’s more, how do you go about cleaning a silver or platinum sex toy? PULSE II is waterproof, so cleaning it takes just a few minutes. What happens after you’ve finished playing with your pearl-studded silver bullet? You can’t just whip out the silver polish and shine it up again – we’re 99% sure that stuff doesn’t belong anywhere near your genitals.
Colin’s aim is to be bling-tastic: to dazzle people with price and create something that’s more of a talking point at parties than a sex toy you’d use every day. While it’s fun to dream about having that magical million-dollar sex toy, we’ll stick to ones that are made to be used. PULSE II SOLO is usable, durable, unique and beautiful – and less than $100.
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