We talk a lot about the future of sex toys, partly because we’re nerdy and curious about when our sexy robotic overlords will take over. But also because we live in exciting times for sex toys – new channels of distribution mean that great sex toy ideas aren’t limited to the big companies. Sellers on Etsy and crowdfunding sites like Indiegogo can bring male sex toys to market that would never have stood a chance before.
Naturally that means that revolutionary toys, and exciting techy gadgets for your penis, are more easily available than ever. It also means that some of the offerings online are things you’d never have imagined.
Here’s our round-up of some of the most interesting male sex toys 2016 – we’ll let you work out which the best ones are…
The wanking sock
Do you like masturbating? Have you run out of socks? Then have we found the sex toy for you!
Made from pure argyl knit – exactly like your nan used to make – comes what we can only describe as a scratchy masturbation sleeve.
However, we’re not here to judge – some people like leather, some like latex, and others may prefer wool. If you fancy it, there’s a wide range of them available from SpoonKink on Etsy.
Glass dildo inspired by man’s best friend
This handblown glass dog-penis dildo is designed to replicate the genitals of your canine companion. Or someone else’s canine companion, if your landlord won’t let you have pets.
This, and a selection of other glass dildos, available from Etsy seller GlassbyWoozy.
Heeeeeere’s Johnny butt plug
You know how it is – you’re having a really good time either on your own or with a loved one, but in order to reach that all-important climax you need to be reminded of your favourite Stephen King character. Well, this Shining-themed butt plug has got you covered. Or plugged.
Made from solid metal, the butt plug costs just over a tenner. Which is a small price to pay to have your favourite Stephen King character bursting out of your bum. They’re also customisable – we really like this ‘No regrets’ plug, which is cute and quirky and probably less likely to give your partner nightmares. But you can ask the seller for any custom image within reason. The clown from IT, perhaps?
3fap – a ‘jack of all trades’ masturbator
Alongside some of the cooler sex things funded on Indiegogo (such as this book of Kama Sutra positions based on rock-climbing) and the downright bizarre projects (like the ‘give bibles to porn stars’ campaign), we find crowdfunded male sex toy 3Fap. It’s three different masturbators in one, although some might argue that makes it look like a cross between a kids’ toy and a kitchen gadget. This male sex toy was launched in 2015 but we’ll almost certainly hear more about it in 2016, even if it’s only people shouting ‘WHAT?!’ like they’ve been presented with a burger when they asked for a plate of tofu.
This guy’s reaction video on YouTube speaks volumes:
However there’s potentially room for a toy like this for people who have limited dexterity or mobility – if it isn’t too heavy, then using a larger masturbator might help out those who struggle to masturbate with smaller male sex toys.
If you’re looking for a really good male sex toy in 2016 though, you can’t go wrong with this one…
Male sex toys 2016: the real deal
PULSE II SOLO uses oscillating vibrations to stimulate your head and shaft, creating out-of-this-world orgasms. It’s not like traditional masturbators, where you slide them over your penis and get no more than a nice texture. The PULSE II SOLO includes revolutionary PulsePlate™ technology, which provides deep, rumbling vibrations. It can be used whether you’re hard or flaccid, and can even help you achieve a hands-free orgasm.
If you’re looking for a male sex toy to use with a partner, then you should also check out the PULSE II DUO – all the awesome of the PULSE II SOLO, with an extra external vibrator that’s perfect for couples play. Want more? Check out our guide to the best sex toys 2016, including toys for women and couples.