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Joan Price Q & A


Your questions answered


It doesn't hurt to ask

Joan is Hot Octopuss’s resident senior sexpert. Read below to get advice on some common sexual problems for seniors.

If you’re over 50 and have questions about better sex, this is the place to ask.

[ASK JOAN A QUESTION]

Questions & Answers


Older couple in sunlight, woman holding man's face and looking lovingly at him
Can’t Keep An Erection Long Enough For Sex

At 70, I am experiencing a lessening of my ability to keep an erection throughout sex. I have tried ED meds and they don’t seem to help. Is there anything else?...


Older couple laying down in bed and woman touching man's face
Who Do I Believe: My Husband or His Penis?

My husband says he still desires me sexually, but his penis says otherwise. It takes a lot of oral sex to get him aroused, and even then, his erection doesn’t last long enough for sex. It do...


Older man with bald head and grey beard with glasses thinking
My Wife Prefers Her Vibrator

Wife Prefers Her Vibrator – “how do I get her to like me instead of the vibrator?”...


Senior woman holding hand to her face looking ashamed
Husband Gets Off by Himself, Doesn’t Want Me

I am 66 and my husband is 67. We married four years ago after being together just six months, but I felt I knew him, and he was a kind, genuine person. Sex was good for the first year, but s...


Older couple sat down but facing away from one another, not speaking
Delayed Ejaculation And Performance Anxiety

I am a 60-year-old man, married to my wife for 38 years. We enjoy being with each other and I have always been the horny one. I enjoy giving my wife oral sex ending in orgasm with the help o...


Older man and woman in bed, woman asleep and man looking pensive
Tired Of One-Sided Sex

“How can I get myself interested in sex again when I just want to sleep?”...


Granddaughter hugging grandmother with eyes closed
Interfering Family Won’t Give Me Privacy

I’m a widow, alone for the past five years. I moved in with my daughter’s family at the beginning of the pandemic so I could help teach and supervise my grandchildren while the parents worke...


Sombre senior couple holding each other close in b&w
I Lose My Erection Without Manual Stimulation During Sex

I am a 73-year-old male with erection problems. I can enjoy sex with erections using Cialis and good lubrication, but I lose my erection quickly when either I or my wife stop the manual stim...


Senior man sitting in bed looking unhappy, with wife blurred behind him
Sex Only Two Or Three Times In Ten Years!

My husband stopped having sex with me the day we got married. I am a 49-year-old woman who married an affectionate, caring man ten years ago, after living together for a year and a half. At ...


Senior couple sitting on sofa and watching TV
Let’s Watch Sexy Movies Again!

When we were younger, we’d watch sexy movies together. Now we’re in our 70s and I’d like to go back to watching porn together. We still enjoy sex, although I have ED. We love to touch (and s...


Solemn senior man looking down, wearing shirt, tie and hat in b&w
No Sex All Year – What Should We Do?

I am 50 and she is 59. We’ve been married for two years. At first, we had sex all the time. But in 2020, we didn’t have sex all year. She tells me I have to tell her when I want sex, but whe...


Senior bearded man smiling and sitting on skateboard in waistcoat and white shirt
We Can’t Talk About Sex!

I’ve never been able to tell a woman what I like and not be embarrassed about it. The way I was raised, even the natural pleasure of touching myself was looked down upon. Now at 54, it’s not...


Senior couple stood outside looking unhappy
Tight Vagina No Intercourse

I’m 72. I have not been able to have intercourse with my husband for the last five years. It seems like my vaginal canal is very small. I’m not sure I want to use dilators....


Sad senior man with head in hands
Cloudy Smelly Urine

It has been six years since I had sex. I’ve started having an odor when I urinate. It’s been three weeks and the odor is still occurring. Also, my urine is a little cloudy....


Senior bearded man at the sea holding yellow surfboard
Sex Requirement for Marriage

I am a 60-year-old single male. I still very much desire sex, but I believe that sex is reserved for a close, loving marriage. I want to find a partner for a sex-filled, intimate, affectiona...


Depressed senior Asian man sitting on edge of the bed
Toys for Flaccid Penis?

I’m 68, impotent from prostate cancer for 12 years, and a widower for two. My only regular release is via masturbation. I’ve been frustrated by the lack of sex toys for men with my condition...


Senior man sitting on sofa and watching his tablet
Hurt by Husband’s Porn Use

My husband is 74 and I am 52 – a 23-year difference in age. He watches porn and masturbates to it every day. It’s always interracial porn. He thinks I don’t know but I do. It hurts me. What ...


Senior black couple Worried - Senior Sex
Sexless Marriage

We have been married 27 years, together for 30. We had a healthy sex life until a year and a half ago, when my husband stopped. No kissing, no touching. I tried to discuss this with him, and...


Sassy senior woman looking directly at the camera, in a red and black dress and wearing jewellery
Loss of Clitoral Orgasm

I’m 65 and have had difficulty with clitoral orgasms all my adult life, but in the last six to seven months, it’s become almost impossible. The pandemic is not an issue – if anything, we are...


Stunning middle aged woman with piercing eyes and black hair, wearing a scarf
Why Can’t I Orgasm after Hysterectomy?

I’m 56. About 10 years ago I had a full hysterectomy. Since then, I get all the arousal feelings, but I can’t actually orgasm. Before the operation I achieved orgasm easily and enjoyed a hea...


Senior woman younger man in dark, blue highlighted brick wall
Young Man Desires Much Older Woman

I’m only in my early 30s, but I’m sexually attracted to women 30 years older or more. I am attracted to their softer breasts, and their maturity is a huge turn-on. I tend to have better, dee...


Happy senior couple cuddling in bed together
No Orgasm During Intercourse: Am I Deficient?

I was hoping my friend with benefits would become my boyfriend, but he told me that he’s not interested in romance because I don’t have an orgasm during intercourse. He said it just doesn’t ...


Elegant senior woman in blue dress gazing out the window
I Cannot Imagine Life Without Orgasms

I am 58. For six years after my husband died, I did not have sex with anyone. I masturbated and reached orgasm with no problem. I felt like I was too overweight to be with a new man. Then I ...


Senior biracial gay couple embracing each other intimately
Gay Man in India: Am I Exploiting Lonely Men?

I am a 60-year-old man who enjoys the company of senior men over 75. Being in India where homosexuality awareness is still in its early stages, few gay men of 75+ are aware that they are gay...


Senior woman in a leather jacket looking pensive
Fishy Smell, Emu Oil?

Coconut oil and Vitamin E stopped working for me, so I am freezing and using emu oil as a vaginal lubricant. Do you have any information about safety? Also, since last winter, I’ve had a sli...


Senior man thinking wearing jumper and glasses
Are Butt Plugs Normal?

I am a curious guy, and once I saw anal plugs being used in porn, not knowing if they were painful or pleasurable, I bought a couple to try out. When my wife discovered them, she was surpris...


Nude senior woman looking away and downwards
I Use a Vibrator, But No Success Reaching Orgasm

I’m 55, and for the past few months I haven’t been able to achieve an orgasm. I use a vibrator, but no success. I have attempted to create satisfaction multiple times, but nothing happens. I...


Senior biracial couple cuddling in bed, happy, woman has cup of tea
No Erection, How to Get Frisky?

I am a two-time prostate cancer survivor since 2005. I am unable to get an erection even with a variety of products. Sex with my wife has for the most part been nonexistent. She has health i...


Senior couple snuggling closely in bed
Wife is My Caregiver, No Sex

I am a 69-year-old male who has had a diagnosis of ALS for two years.  My wife is 65 and my primary caregiver. Her caregiving includes cooking meals, lifting me out of chairs and beds, manag...


Senior disabled black man thinking in plaid shirt
Peyronie's Disease Might Turn Off Partner

My penis has narrowed and shortened caused by Peyronie’s disease. I used to have 7-1/2 inches, now it’s 6-1/4. That’s an issue for me, as a guy, but unless a lady was familiar with my former...


Senior couple holding hands standing in front of green wall
His Orgasm Takes Forever

I’m 72. My husband of 50 years has trouble maintaining an erection. He desperately wants to orgasm, but it takes a lot of work on my part to get him there. We tried various sex toys, but not...


Senior woman worrying with hands clasped by her mouth
I Never Wanted to Marry Him

My husband and I married very late in life in our mid-70s, six months ago. It was my third marriage, his eighth! He equates sex with love, while I want a deeper relationship. He wants sex at...


Lesbian couple being intimate with tender neck touching
Married Woman Turned On by Lesbian Porn

I’m a 65-year-old woman, married to a man for 45 years. We are good together, happy together, but we haven't had sex in 30 years. I watch porn and masturbate, but what really arouses me is l...


Senior man sitting on end of bed worrying
No Sex 20 Years, Craving FWB

My wife and I have been married 50 years minus 6 months of a non-sexual separation in the early 90s that was my choice. Sorry to say the relationship is the same. There has been no intimacy ...


Senior insecure man sitting outside wearing coat, scarf and glasses
Attracted to Mother-in-Law, Should I Tell Her?

I am 58 and about to be separated from my wife. My mother-in-law is 80, and I have been attracted to her for about 30 years. I have this gut feeling she is attracted to me, too. How would I ...


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