The EDGE Blog

Threesomes: Tips & Tricks For Bedroom Adventures


There’s an art to getting the most out of threesomes. This article has tips for couples and single folks which will have you communicating better, laughing more, and oh-so-eager to text that special somebody. Queen P digs into the nitty-gritty of how to prepare, respect people’s feelings, and end on a  *very* good note.


It may just be me, but there always seems to be an uptick in threesomes during Pride Month. Whether you’re straight, striving to affirm your bisexual partner, or 100% queer AF, there are some universal laws of threesomes that you must know about.

Tips for Couples

So you’re a couple, seeking a third to enjoy in some delightful three-way awesomeness with? Keep these tips in mind during your search to fill this sultry role.

Communication should be supportive and hyper-clear.

This should go without saying but it often gets lost in the moment. If you’ve discussed threesomes at all with your partner, and you’ve both expressed interest in the topic, make a plan to dive a little deeper. Discuss what the perfect threesome experience would look like for both of you, what’s on the “yes” list and what’s absolutely non-negotiable. Come to a consensus or a middle ground with your wants & needs and what you’d both like to get out of the threesome. If this is the first time you’ve explored group sex together, do you have a plan for aftercare?

Watch porn together!

If communication isn’t coming so easily around the group sex topic, a visual aid might help! There’s plenty of threesome porn to choose from out there, so get some in the queue, grab some popcorn and make a date night out of it! This is useful to get ideas for positions, what might be okay (or not okay) in scene and get in the mood for the eventful nights to cum!

a tattooed femme sits naked in a red chair on the beach

Suggested reading: How To Find A Unicorn

Go on a date beforehand.

It’s a good idea for all the threesome participants to go on a date, or at the very least, hang out prior to sleeping with one another. You can get to know each other more or even get more comfortable within the dynamic of the three people. Think about it, if you’re not comfortable hanging out with the third as a couple, do you really want to be sleeping with them as a couple?

Tips For Thirds

So you’re single and READY to mingle – with couples, throuples and/or other like-minded, group-sex-seeking individuals? Let’s play!

Practice boundaries.

What are your boundaries when it comes to partnered sex? Are those same boundaries still being upheld during threesomes or are you more open to exploring outside of your comfort zone? Whichever way the cookie crumbles, get clear on what your boundaries are before the scene is set.

Stay somewhat sober.

Using alcohol or drugs to ease your pre-threesome anxiety can make it more difficult for you to stay present during the big moment. A drink or two won’t kill you but studies suggest that, for vulva-owners, arousal is negatively affected after BAC has surpassed 0.08%.

Don’t expect a smooth ride.

Things don’t always go as planned and when you’re the guest star on a couples’ stage, mistakes can be made and feelings can get hurt. The most important thing is to keep communication alive during the act so everyone feels like they have a voice. If something awkward happens, feel free to laugh it off and continue playing.

Bonus Tips

These tips apply to everybody and their group sex partners!

Dig out your toys!

What better time to bust out your sex toy chest than with a group that’s ready to share some pleasure with you?! Finger vibes like DiGiT can be easily worn by most and provide an extra tempting touch to anyone’s finger. PULSE DUO is ideal for hot hot hot outercourse & foreplay  – the third can play with nipples and/or fuck the mouths of the other two while PULSE works its oscillating magic.

Positions For Threesomes
Hot Octopuss Digit Finger Vibrator Sex Toy

DiGiT can do wonders for extending your reach

The Effiel Tower, a classic threesome position where the person being penetrated is also giving head at the same. The DP, two penises needed – either home-grown or factory-made. It’s basically missionary and anal doggie style at the same time. The Double-Mouthed BJ is a favorite of many and allows the people performing oral sex to make out at the same time. Do some research beforehand to find more fun positions for all!

Be a gold-star protection user.

Ideally discussed before the main event. Everyone should be aware of the others’ sexual health status and boundaries around protection. (Hot tip: you can text each other your most recent screening results. Chances are, they’re in your patient portal! Otherwise, a quick phone call to the doctor’s office is all it should take to have them emailed to you.) Nitrile gloves can be used for manual stimulation and are super sexy, especially in different colors, like red or black. Dental dams are also easy barriers for all types of oral sex. And make sure you have a roll – or maybe an entire box – of condoms within arm’s reach.

Don’t couple off.

If you’re enjoying one person better than the other, someone might feel left out. Make sure everyone feels included by rubbing or sucking while riding and grinding.

An important reminder for couples: Check in with your third from time to time. They are there for a pleasurable experience too and deserve to feel like a human and not a sex toy.

Follow up.

Communication and check-ins are a very important part of group sex. Follow-up doesn’t have to happen immediately after the alleged threesome. Still, it should happen within a few days of the scene to make sure no one is left with any bad feelings. As a couple, it’s especially important to check in on the third person! Thank them for the bed-rockin’ good time and make sure they’re in a good place. If everyone’s feeling good about the exchange, follow up can be a good time to schedule your next play sesh 😉

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Sex tech for sex rebels can be found in its natural habitat, Hot Octopuss’ online shop.

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