If you are an avid reader of The Edge you won’t be surprised to see my name popping up! I’ve written two pieces for Hot Octopuss about what it was like growing up as a cis woman with a disability and how that all works, sexually! Today I am writing about something slightly different.
I think as someone with a disability people often assume you are limited sexually, and aren’t able to explore as much as someone who is able-bodied. I have made it my personal mission to bust this myth and try as many products as I can for vulva-owners. I share my AMAZING discoveries below. All in the name of research OF COURSE!
Best accessible sex toy for flexibility: The EveryGirl – Rocks Off
Since I got my EveryGirl, roughly a month ago… I’ve told multiple mates about it and have used it about erm, 3000 times!
The EveryGirl is flexible, allowing for angles that aren’t possible for me with some other toys, as a wheelchair user. The buttons are easy to operate without much dexterity, which is handy, especially when you want to switch through the modes quickly. It’s easy to use sitting up or lying down, which is amazing as it’s often hard for me to use toys lying down: I don’t have the reach and I can’t sit myself up at all, once I’m fully lying back. The silicone is also really soft, and it feels weird to say this but the toy is comfortable. It feels like a part of you rather than something a bit invasive!
This toy makes it easy and highly enjoyable for me to express myself. I will continue to talk about my EveryGirl, maybe sometimes somewhat inappropriately, to all of my friends… and pretty much everyone I meet.
Best accessible sex toy for a totally unique orgasm: The Queen Bee – Hot Octopuss
The Queen Bee was the first toy that I got from Hot Octopuss and after reading about it I was SO intrigued I was literally counting down the days until its arrival, tracking the package, basically calling the postman to see when this amazing piece of sexy technology was going to be in my possession. When it arrived, I was so impressed by the packaging, it just looked… regal.
Regal and HOT.
I opened it and naturally the first thing I did (and quite rightly so) was check the intensity: this is a POWERFUL piece of equipment. This toy is one of a kind! It uses oscillation rather than vibration to give a powerful orgasm. It also has a gentle massager on the top to get you in the mood. It is 100% waterproof, so for me, it was automatically decided that it was going to be my bathroom toy, which beats a rubber duck any day of the week.
The Queen Bee is the toy of legitimate self love.
So on my first use of the Queen Bee, I deployed a sensual bath bomb, lit a candle and turned the lights off. I was going to make powerful, oscillating love to myself. As soon as I turned the toy on to use, I was surprised! It was a sensation that I was not at all used to. Every toy I’ve ever owned has vibrated, and vibrated powerfully. The Queen Bee was different, I was almost relearning everything I knew about sex toys.
I’m a busy woman and I was frustrated at first… I had things to do, emails to reply to, important hours of TV series to catch up on, but I persisted, and I am so glad that I did. Pretty much as soon as those thoughts had passed through my mind, things began to get more intense. It was definitely a build-up to an amazing release, a release that wasn’t just a quick explosion but a release that was earned, and thought about. It allowed me to have some time to be myself, to appreciate my body and to enjoy my overpriced bath bomb. The Queen Bee, for me, is the toy of legitimate self love.
Best accessible sex toy for dexterity issues: DiGiT – Hot Octopuss
When I saw the new DiGiT finger vibe I was excited, as I was looking for a product to use with a partner, not just solo. DiGiT is perfect for this as the rings that hook around your fingers mean that it is great for pressing on your lover’s body, especially for people with dexterity issues. I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which means that my muscles are weaker, especially when *ahem* distracted, so having my toy strapped to my fingers is a weight off my mind, and it means that I can focus on the task at hand. Literally.
DiGiT makes my toes, fingers and eyelashes curl!
DiGiT is small, but powerful, and since I have received it I have used it EVERY DAY and recommended it to SO many people, especially my peers with disabilities. It’s such an easy-to-use toy and a great toy for people who use personal assistants (PAs) as it is really discreet and not overtly ‘sexual’. It’s got so many functions, but I literally just turn it on, turn it up and it gets the job done, pretty much instantly. I travel a lot for work, and it’s small and easy to pack. It also looks elegant as hell, like a really weird high fashion piece of jewellery. The DiGiT is a unique but amazing experience, it’s targeted and precise and INTENSE. The DiGiT makes my toes, fingers and eyelashes curl.
Best accessible sex toy for a hands-free orgasm: The Ruby Glow – Rocks Off
I have had the Ruby Glow for a few months now and although it’s not my go-to, I include it because I think there are a lot of people that it would be super helpful for.
The Ruby Glow is a long, saddle-style, non-penetrative toy, which you basically sit on or place underneath you. The vibrations and the contour of the toy are great and it means that if you need to use a toy that requires no hands and not much movement from you, it is a really good option.
For the independence of a hands-free orgasm, give the Ruby Glow a go
However, the buttons are tricky to operate so if you needed to have a ‘hands-free’ option because of issues with dexterity, then you would definitely need to ensure that the toy was at your desired setting prior to use. The toy can help me achieve a good orgasm, but if you are looking for targeted, pinpoint stimulation then this isn’t the toy you should go for. However! If you are looking to try new things and you need the independence of a hands-free orgasm I’d definitely recommend that you give it a go. Similarly to the DiGiT, the Ruby Glow is quite discreet in that it doesn’t really look like a conventional sex toy, so those with PAs could look into this one too!
Best budget accessible sex toy: G-Kiss Fluttering Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator – Lovehoney
The G-Kiss is a great toy if you are on a budget. I ordered this mainly due to the weird shape! I love a toy that is aimed at the G-spot and the butterfly-style clit stimulator just looked really, really interesting. It’s definitely the first toy I’ve ever owned with antennae!
For the price this toy didn’t disappoint. It’s not regal-looking, it’s not particularly good quality or well thought-out, but it can deliver a good orgasm and the buttons are easy to press. The fact that the toy isn’t overly big like a rabbit or similar helps me as well because, as I mentioned before, it can be harder to use those types of toys due to my disability. I reach for this toy occasionally and if you are looking for a cheaper option that will get the job done then I’d recommend you give it a try.
So, as you can see, I’ve been quite busy since I last wrote for Hot Octopuss and I am now fully committed to finding the most accessible, powerful sex toy out there! If you have any recommendations of any toys that are super accessible, or just really, really good, or if you have any questions about my findings, then drop me a message on Twitter or Instagram.
Kelly Perks-Bevington is a 30-year-old business owner and writer from the West Midlands. She runs numerous businesses in the sports industry as well as providing disabled individuals with advice around care needs. Kelly is a passionate entrepreneur and mother to a one-year-old. She is also an advocate for disability rights! You can find out more about her on her website.