Sexy Christmas Gifts For The Porn Lover In Your Life

Too many Christmas gift guides focus on ‘gifts for him’ or ‘gifts for her’, which is frustrating for those of us who want to pick presents based on thoughtfulness rather than gender. So instead of offering you ‘Christmas gifts for him’, we’ll be curating a few different gift guides depending on the sexy inclinations of your intended recipient.

Today’s Christmas gift guide for her (or him! Or anyone!) is definitely not advisable for the office Secret Santa: here are some gifts for the porn-lover in your life.

Sexy Christmas gifts: Virtual reality headset

They’ve watched porn in boring-old two dimensions for far too long. If you’re planning a Christmas gift for the porn-lover who’s seen it all, then you can’t go wrong with the futuristic excitement of a VR porn headset. You can pick up the very cheapest viewers (which you slot your phone inside) on Amazon for under £20. Or if you happen to be flush with cash, full systems such as Oculus Rift will give you an even more immersive VR porn experience.

Sexy Christmas gifts: hands-free sex toys

PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL is a masturbator that can be used entirely hands-free. Yep, you read that right. Just put it on, turn it up, and let it work its magic. So for the porn-lover in your life, what better Christmas gift than something which lets them have both hands free while they browse their favourite porn site?

Sexy Christmas gifts: a porn site subscription

If you know someone well enough to know their favourite porn site, perhaps this Christmas they’d appreciate a gift that keeps on giving, long after Christmas Day? Buying a subscription to a site not only gets access to the official videos, you also often get bonus content like interviews with your favourite performers, and photo sets from behind the scenes.

And there’s plenty to choose from. Dreams of Spanking is perfect if your partner is into kink – with a large archive of scenes featuring performers of all genders. Bright Desire offers mostly heterosexual porn with an artistic slant. CrashPad offers vivid, playful queer porn. Erika Lust’s Xconfessions is a series that brings people real-world sexual fantasies to life. TrenchcoatX offers smut curated by porn superstar Stoya. And oh, there are so many more. A porn subscription makes the perfect Christmas gift for him or her – and it gives you the excuse to watch something hot together on Boxing Day.

Sexy Christmas gifts: Wireless headphones

Not all of us can afford to turn the porn sound up full volume – the housing crisis means that an alarming proportion of us have to wank in absolute silence, lest our roommates hear. At Christmas this problem is magnified by the potential of having to go and visit relatives. So for the porn-lover in your life, why not ease the strain on their ears – and their relationships – by investing in a pair of wireless headphones. Techradar has a list of the best which should point you in the right direction.

Sexy Christmas gifts: porn-star memoirs

If your lover or pal is interested in behind-the-scenes gossip, they’ll love getting their hands on a porn star memoir. For sheer variety, you can’t go wrong with Jiz Lee’s ‘Coming out like a porn star’ – a collection of essays written by lots of different performers, which gives a uniquely fascinating insight into what it’s like to be a porn performer.

Sexy Christmas gifts: hand cream

The combination of cold winter air and vigorous holiday masturbation means there’ll be plenty of cracked palms and miserable wankers by the time New Year rolls round. Treat your loved one to a special hand cream from somewhere posh like Crabtree and Evelyn. Bonus point: it’ll fit in a stocking.