When we talk about sex after prostate cancer, a lot of the discussion is focused on the physical things: whether you can get or maintain an erection, or changes in sensation or ejaculation. So discussing prostate cancer sex aids, there’s a temptation to focus purely on the physical sensation – on toys like PULSE II SOLO, which men can use to ejaculate even when flaccid.
Understandably, one of the things many men are looking for when considering post-prostate cancer sex aids is something that will allow them to have the kind of orgasms they had before. PULSE II SOLO uses technology that was originally created to help men with spinal injuries. Oscillating vibrations were used to stimulate guys who wanted to have IVF but who were unable to get an erection or ejaculate. The deep vibrations rumble through the head and shaft of the penis, and enabled men to achieve orgasm where it wasn’t possible before.
Of course, we’re biased, but we think that this kind of tech shouldn’t just be limited to medical applications – you don’t need to want IVF in order to want to come, right? That’s where PULSE came in – the same oscillating vibrations are created by the PulsePlate and can be used by anyone – young, old, hard, flaccid. All you need is a little bit of lube and you’re away.
Prostate cancer sex aids you might not have thought of
There’s more to sex after prostate cancer than just a kickass sex toy, though. Alongside the physical changes, there are some things that may be more of a mental challenge for you if you’re recovering from prostate cancer treatment. Cancer Research UK has a really useful guide on sex after prostate cancer – and they explain that there may be many reasons why, during or after treatment, you find sex more difficult or you have less interest in it at all. Including:
– Tiredness (fatigue)
– Anxiety about having cancer
– Loss of confidence and self esteem
– Side effects from other treatments such as cancer drugs
– Changes in the male sex hormones
Given this, we wanted to suggest a few other sex aids that you might want to bring into the bedroom – ones which are designed to focus not on recreating the orgasms or sex you had before diagnosis, but give you other things to concentrate on. Hopefully taking some of the pressure off and helping you relax and enjoy.
As Cancer Research UK points out, just because your sex drive may be lower than it was, that doesn’t mean that all physical contact is off the table. Invest in a massage oil that you and you partner both love, and set aside some time to spend together. Massage is a great way to give yourselves permission to touch and be close, without the pressure of feeling you’re doing it as ‘foreplay’ and that you’ll need to perform later.
Yes, we reckon porn counts as a sex aid. And if you’re not focused on orgasm, you have time to explore lots of different genres and ideas rather than just picking one or two things that ‘work’ and sticking to those. Whether on your own or with a partner, watching porn can give you new ideas, help you explore different fantasies and… well… it can just be a great way to chill out. Why not check out some performers and studios that you might not have come across before?
Sex toys for your partner
Switching the focus away from you and onto your partner means there’s less pressure on you to perform, and naturally it also gets you brownie points. Shop for some sex toys with them and take time to focus purely on their pleasure.
You could also invest in a really awesome couples sex toy. PULSE II DUO has the same benefits of PULSE II SOLO, in that it can be used either flaccid or erect, but it’s designed specifically for couples use. Alongside the oscillating internal vibrator, which stimulates you, there’s a powerful external vibe that can be used on your partner – in a variety of different positions.
Prostate cancer – no pressure
One of the difficult things when writing about your sex life after any health issues is that often the focus is on getting things back to your usual routine as quickly as possible. So there’s a temptation to look for prostate cancer sex aids that promise to deliver diamond-hard erections or a quick and easy win. However, the more pressure on you to ‘perform’ the more difficult it can be. Check out our guide on erectile dysfunction and prostate cancer, talk to your doctor about any concerns, and try out some of the techniques above.