Premature Ejaculation Training: Do Sex Toys Help?

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If you’re here, chances are you’re worried about how quickly you ejaculate. Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual complaints among men, and if it bothers you then you’re definitely not alone.

Some men have what’s called ‘primary premature ejaculation’ – where they have always come quickly, ever since they started being sexually active. Others have ‘secondary premature ejaculation’, where the problem arises at some point later in their sexual life.

Whether you’re someone who struggles with it, or a partner looking for ways to support someone who has it, know that there are premature ejaculation training techniques as well as sex aids that can help.

What counts as premature ejaculation?

This is one of those ‘how long is a piece of string’ problems, and it will depend on what your usual time is, and how it’s affecting you and your partners. If you usually take around 10-15 minutes to climax during sex, then you enter a phase where you start coming within three or four minutes, you might start to worry. If, on the other hand, you usually come within three or four minutes, and both you and your partner are happy with that, then you probably won’t be too upset. With ejaculation, what counts as ‘premature’ is partly in the eye of the beholder.

Having said that, there have been studies done on men who struggle with premature ejaculation, and the ‘normal’ time to ejaculation may surprise you:

  • Average time to orgasm in ‘normal’ guys: 7.3 minutes
  • Average time to orgasm in guys with premature ejaculation: 1.8 minutes

What is premature ejaculation training?

Much like marathon training, premature ejaculation training involves testing your mental and physical stamina. Unlike marathon training, it requires a lot of masturbation, and is therefore probably more fun than dragging yourself around a local park at 6 a.m. for months.

If you find you come too quickly, practising holding back (when you’re alone) can mean you’re more prepared to hold off orgasm when you’re playing with a partner. Try touching yourself with very gentle movements, or ‘edging’ – bringing yourself near to climax then stopping completely. Some men find that this alone is an effective way of training themselves to hold off orgasm.

Can sex toys help with premature ejaculation training?

Yep. Sex toys can be great premature ejaculation training aids. Male sex toys often have an odd stigma, which doesn’t seem to apply to female sex toys, and yet they can be used to help with anything from premature ejaculation to helping with erections if you struggle with erectile dysfunction.

Sex toys like PULSE II SOLO can be used for edging as well as for general premature ejaculation training. If you want to practice holding off ejaculation, masturbate to almost the point of climax, and when you think you’re almost there, take a long, deep breath. Taking a breath should help to delay the ejaculation reflex. Try thinking about something very unsexy, and tensing your muscles. Go easy on yourself as this kind of training takes time – especially if you haven’t used PULSE II SOLO before, the intense sensation of oscillating vibrations might provide too much stimulation. That’s a good thing, though – it’s all more practice for you!

As PULSE II SOLO‘s vibrations can be adjusted, try reducing the intensity of vibrations and putting your hands behind your head. Breathe deeply, and perform all the same steps as above.

Are there any medical premature ejaculation training aids?

If you’re really concerned about premature ejaculation, then it’s well worth speaking to your doctor. While there aren’t any medical sex aids specifically designed to help with premature ejaculation, your doctor may be able to prescribe you something that can help. However this is likely to be an SSRI – medication which is often used to treat depression or anxiety, and so there can be other side-effects along with delayed ejaculation.

Check the NHS website and speak to your doctor.

What if premature ejaculation training doesn’t work?

Don’t despair – if you’ve tried training yourself to delay ejaculation but you’re still struggling, there are other possible options. There’s the ‘Something About Mary’ technique, which involves masturbating an hour or two before sex – if you’ve recently ejaculated then chances are you’ll last a little longer when you’re in the bedroom.

You can also buy desensitising creams that you apply to the head of your penis – these will temporarily numb your penis and mean that it takes longer for you to orgasm. Condoms perform a similar function – look out for extra thick condoms, or ‘delay’ condoms. The latter comes with desensitising cream already applied inside the tip, and should also have similar results.

What if my partner has premature ejaculation?

If you’re with someone who struggles with premature ejaculation, then congratulations on being supportive enough to read up on the issue. Male sexual problems often come with a lot of stigma attached, and talking about them is often the biggest hurdle to overcome.

Now that you understand the issues, you can help your partner out in a few ways:

  • Premature ejaculation training – you can help them with mutual masturbation, or edging, or remind them to masturbate a couple of hours before you both plan to have sex.
  • Sex positions – it may be that there are some positions in which they find it easier to hold off orgasm. Alternatively, positions where you’re in control mean you can stop easily if they tell you they’re about to come – this means you can keep them on the ‘edge’ of orgasm for a while – good practice as well as good fun.

Most importantly, listen to their needs and have an open conversation about it. If premature ejaculation is making your sex life tough, then there are other ways you can be intimate. Above all remember that sex isn’t all about penetration – sometimes sexual problems can be a springboard for finding new sex techniques that work for both of you.

One Comment

  1. jeanie

    thank you

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