Bondage is the act of restraining the body’s movement. And while rope is probably the most represented bondage modality, there are many, many other ways to tie your sweetie up.
– Plastic wrap
– Fetish wear i.e. ball gags and arm binders
Bondage can be deep, rich, and satisfying on multiple levels. For many, slipping into the dynamic of controlling (top) and being controlled (bottom) feels amazing. The stress and worries of day to day life fade into the background as the deliciousness of tension and release unfurl during the scene.
It’s common to be able to see an almost psychic connection between the rigger and the bottom, as their breath syncs up and their attention becomes focused on one point. Trust flows from both ends while every movement is drawn out and revelled in.
As a delightful form of pain-free kink, bondage can bring connection, trust, and enjoyment to the next level.
Another exercise in trust and one that is quite conducive to sadistic humour is sensory manipulation. As one sense is taken away, all the others are heightened, which the top can leverage to their pleasure.
Begin by covering your bottom’s eyes with a thick leather blindfold.
– Toss in a guided walk to reinforce the power dynamic.
– Explore hot, cold, smooth, scratchy, pokey, thuddy. Velvet, fur.
– Expose them to interesting smells: camphor, rosemary, citrus, bacon, cookies, armpits
– Consider applying a menthol muscle rub to their chest.
– Surprise their mouth with unusual treats: schizandra berry, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, cloves, honey
Laying out a scene like this often results in the bottom often feeling special and taken care of. “Wow, my partner set all this up for me. And they took me on an adventure!” The top typically has themself a good laugh and is reminded of how fulfilling it can be to set up a surprise for their partner.
Sensory manipulation is also a good option for folks who are low on energy. No one needs to break a sweat (or strain their back!) to have a good time.
Roleplay is FUN. Caregivers and Littles, Pups and Handlers, Nurses and Patients . . . the only limitation is your imagination (and your regard for the law.) While typically there is an element of power exchange within role play, I do see power exchange as its own category. Most folks who have a dominant/submissive or master/slave dynamic are not role-playing. They have made formal agreements to abide by certain behaviours and expectations. Over time these roles become integrated into their identity.
But here we’re concerned with role play as in, “I’m going to pretend to be a ___________ for the duration of the scene. My partner is going to pretend to be a __________ during the scene and then we’ll interact, and it’ll be fun and hot.”
Pain-free kink is about adults playing! We’re making up scenarios with rules. We’re imagining that we’re certain characters while we step into the worlds of these scenarios. When we play by the rules, there are rewards. But when we break the rules, there may be consequences.
If you give yourself permission to really get into it, roleplay will have you and your partner laughing and leaving the worries of the day behind.
Discussion topics to make you blush
Write down your responses in a journal, or use the following prompts to start a conversation with your partner(s):
1. Imagine being blindfolded. What does your breath feel like? What sensations would you like to experience? Anticipation and fear, or reassurance and body heat?
2. Describe a scenario in which you’d like to be tied up. Are there specific sensations that you’d like to be exposed to? How does the idea of a forced orgasm sit with you? Perhaps the subtleties are more intriguing to you – the cadence of your partner’s breath, the heaviness of their footstep. What about being restrained turns you on?
3. Imagine the different bondage supplies that you’d be curious to try. A spreader bar, leather cuffs, plastic wrap, or how about zip ties? What ideas of your own can you come up with?
4. What sensory manipulation materials can you find around your house, the local grocery store or art supply shop? Take an inventory of sight, sound, taste, touch (texture and heat), and smell as you go through your kitchen. Keep combinations in mind and remember that as you take away one sense, the others grow stronger.
5. Imagine that you’re topping a bondage or sensory manipulation scene. When and how would you check in with your bottom? What personal touches would you bring in to reassure them of your presence? And if they said they were fine but showed physical signs – cold sweat, pallid hands – that suggested otherwise, how would you respond?
6. Mentally try on different forms of roleplay. How could you see it playing into daily interactions? One example would be a Little helping their Daddy change the oil in his car. Another example would be a Pup licking up a mess that their Handler made.
7. In your opinion what would be the best ever treats to give? If a submissive went above and beyond, proving that their dominant’s happiness what their ultimate priority, how should they be rewarded?
Between sensory manipulation, bondage, and roleplay, you’ve got plenty of options for pain-free kink. Beyond negotiation, having fun is the most important part. We hope this article inspired you to try something new and ultimately enrich your relationship with your body, identity, and partner(s)!