Using a sex toy doesn’t count as cheating. Using a sex toy doesn’t count as cheating. Using a sex toy doesn’t… oh what’s the use? No matter how many people take the time to patiently explain that sex toys – being inanimate objects – aren’t the same as actual human beings you have sex with, there’ll always be a few people who worry that using a sex toy counts as cheating.
Whether it’s a male masturbator or a bullet vibrator, your sex toy isn’t the ‘other person’ in your relationship. Sex toys can be an enhancement to partnered sex, a fun gift to give your other half on Valentines Day, or even just something to enjoy during your alone time. And no matter how in love you are, everyone needs alone time!
An article recently about a woman who thought her partner was cheating on her with a sex toy prompted us to consider: what if it actually was?
If using a sex toy counted as cheating…
… then 78% of people who use sex toys would technically be having an affair.
Yep, it’s true. Sex toys are definitely not just for singletons. Research in 2013 by sex toy company Adam and Eve found that 78% of the people who bought their toys were in relationships. So either there’s a wave of horny philanderers hiding amongst us… or sex toys don’t count as cheating at all.
… most couples would technically be polyamorous.
Think about it: if a sex toy counts as your ‘mistress’ – or whatever the male term for mistress is – then surely it would count as a person at all times. Which means that although you’re going to feel weird introducing people at parties to your polyamorous battery-operated lover, you can technically describe that session you had with your partner and a cock-ring as a ‘threesome.’ Add a PULSE II DUO into the mix and you have a ménage à quatre.
…you’d be buying a Christmas gift for your male masturbator.
It’s not just that scene in Love, Actually where Alan Rickman buys a necklace for his secretary – research shows that men do often buy Christmas presents for their mistresses. Sometimes they spend more on presents for their mistress than on their wife. If using a sex toy really were cheating, then people would be treating their favourite sex toys to something a little special. A special kind of lube, perhaps? Or a shiny new charger cable?
… people would have to cite the PULSE II SOLO in their divorce proceedings.
Would that work? Lots of people cite things like Facebook in their divorce proceedings, if their lover spends too much time typing and not enough time listening to them. But could you use a sex toy as grounds for divorce? Answers on a postcard.
… some people would only be able to orgasm with their ‘bit on the side.’
Many people (often women, though not always) struggle to orgasm during penetrative sex without a bit of extra help. That might be manual stimulation, oral, or using a vibrator or couples sex toy like the PULSE II DUO. Some people genuinely do need a bit of extra vibration – whether they’re alone or with a partner. So if sex toys counted as cheating? Some people would only be able to orgasm with their ‘bit on the side.’
… you’d also have to suspect your vegetable drawer of breaking up your marriage.
Imagine the arguments!
“Have you been sleeping with that cucumber?”
“We’re nearly out of carrots – are you having an affair?!”
… we’d be more positive about ‘cheating.’
This sounds like a weird one, but hear us out: research has shown that people who use sex toys generally have better sexual health. So if using sex toys counted as cheating, then perhaps cheating itself would no longer be seen as bad – those who had a dalliance with a dildo or an affair with some anal beads would be seen as sexual heroes.
What’s more, for some people sex toys aren’t just a fun thing to use when they’re masturbating – they are a vital part of a healthy sex life. Whether you’re struggling with erectile dysfunction and want a toy like PULSE II SOLO which can help you orgasm without an erection, or if you have mobility issues that mean a long-handled vibrating wand or remote control couples toy is an absolute must.
Using a sex toy doesn’t count as cheating, but it brings so many benefits to relationships that even if we lived in a world where sex toys were seen as a ‘bad’ thing, people would use them anyway.