The EDGE Blog

BDSM Advice: Do I have daddy issues?


Dear Zentai,
I want to call my boyfriend “daddy,” but he’s worried that it means I have issues.
-Nasty Girl, Sheboygan, USA

Hey Nasty Girl,

First of all, you deserve a merit badge for writing in! People can go years without addressing their desires, due to unsupportive relationship dynamics.

Everywhere you look, you find kinksters referring to their partners (of all genders, woot!) as “Daddy” and there is nothing wrong with that! This has zero to do with your relationship with your real-life father. The fundamental thing folks must understand when it comes to kink is that this is play. What we’re talking about is adults playing make believe, and because we’re adults our recreation can involve consensual sex.

Calling your boyfriend “Daddy” can be a part of age play, but it doesn’t have to be. That being said, some of the happiest BDSM players I’ve met are Littles, and it’s something you may want to look into.

Your boyfriend’s concern with ‘daddy issues’ stinks of kink-shaming. If he’s committed to being a good partner, he’ll be willing to do his work around his uneasiness and enjoy the sexual liberation that follows.

Your friendly neighborhood pain slut,

Zentai (they/them)

Psst! Have a kinky question of your own? Head to the Ask Zentai page and click that sexy little button that says ASK ZENTAI A QUESTION

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