The EDGE Blog

I Use a Vibrator, But No Success Reaching Orgasm


I’m 55, and for the past few months I haven’t been able to achieve an orgasm. I use a vibrator, but no success. I have attempted to create satisfaction multiple times, but nothing happens. It feels great but it’s quite disappointing because the result is nothing. Currently I’m on testosterone cream. I’ve talked to my gynecologist, but outside of the cream, nothing else has been suggested.

This is beyond disappointing and frustrating. I’ve been in a healthy relationship for 19 years. My partner wants sex daily. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


Joan answers:

Inability to reach orgasm when you had no trouble until recently can be a sign of a serious medical condition, such as heart disease or diabetes, or a side effect of a medication you’re taking. I’m disappointed (but, unfortunately, not surprised) that your doctor didn’t try to diagnose the problem instead of just prescribing testosterone cream.

It is common that as we age, we need more stimulation, so a stronger vibrator might help, if you haven’t tried that. But please don’t give up trying to get the right medical help. Please read these articles, too:

– “Orgasms change as you get older. But they can be richly satisfying with the right stimulation and an open mind.” My blog post for Hot Octopuss: “How Orgasms Change As You Get Older.”

– “It’s hard for me to reach orgasm,” women over 60 often write me. My column for Senior Planet addresses several of their concerns: “Ask Joan: Easier Orgasms.”

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