Choosing a sex toy to use as a couple starts with thinking about what you both enjoy when it comes to sensation, stimulation and practicality. Talking about what you both want to explore will help you avoid unnecessary big purchases, so don't hesitate to map out what you both want before splurging.
It may take a little trial and error to find the right fit, but we are here to help you narrow it down so you can buy with confidence.
Let's start with your why.
Before browsing for your next toy, I encourage you both to finish this sentence: “I’d look forward to using a toy together if…”
Some examples...
- It stimulated my clitoris
- It can be used during penetration
- It has flexibility for the size of my penis
- It can be controlled by a remote
- We can use it in the shower
A sex toy earns its place in your bedroom when it fits the way you both enjoy being intimate, which means there is no one-size-fits-all approach to this. One couple might prioritise external stimulation, while another might choose something for internal stimulation. Focus on how each option fits into your time together.
Next, agree on three priorities for your shared shortlist:
- The experience you want. Would you prefer external stimulation, a wearable toy or something you can take turns holding? Is penetration part of the appeal? Choose around sensations you already enjoy and things you are both curious about.
- Comfort and control. Think about weight, dimensions, grip and button placement. Would a remote make adjustments easier? Does either partner need a shape that requires less reaching or sustained holding?
- Everyday practicality. Decide which ownership detail matters most: noise, easy cleaning, compact storage, or enough battery life for spontaneous use; is it waterproof?
Picture owning it before you buy
Imagine an evening together, things are starting to get a little exciting, and then you take the toy out, turn it on, and, well, you know.
Would you use this toy again? Does it fit a particular type of intimacy? Is it better suited to a particular occasion? Would you both enjoy it? Does this toy involve you taking turns?
What parts of the fantasy of owning this toy excite you the most?
Compare prices once you know what matters.
Return to your three priorities and assess each shortlisted toy you've considered buying against them. Would you use the extra features? Does the shape suit your needs? Would easier controls make the experience more comfortable?
A higher price doesn’t automatically mean more power or a better experience, and an affordable toy can still tick your boxes. Look closely at what you’re getting for your money: clearly listed materials, thoughtful design, care instructions and reliable customer support. Shop with an established brand or trusted retailer; cough, cough, Hot Octopuss is a good place to start.
Let's compare couples toys on Hot Octopuss.
PULSE DUO
If shared external stimulation is high on your wishlist, PULSE DUO combines an oscillating PulsePlate for penile stimulation with a vibrating raised outer side for vulval contact. This toy is perfect if pain is present, but you still want to be intimate and have external stimulation with the closeness. This toy also comes with a remote so that you can adjust the settings without distractions.
ATOM PLUS
For couples who want added vibration during penetration, ATOM PLUS offers a wearable cock ring with two motors and a raised contact area for the vulva, reducing the need to hold a separate toy during sex. Consider whether a ring suits the experience you both want, and prioritise comfortable fit and how long this toy can be worn by the person with a penis.
SANDY by Bed Nerdz
If you prefer something light to hold, or something a little discreet for a date night, then SANDY by Bed Nerdz is a compact bullet vibrator with a handheld remote, letting either partner adjust the settings without reaching for the toy. Consider whether its small shape would feel comfortable to grip and whether it covers enough surface area on the parts you like stimulated.
Doxy 2.0 Die Cast Compact Cordless
If you both enjoy broader external stimulation, the Doxy 2.0 Die Cast Compact Cordless offers deep, low-frequency vibrations through a wide head. Most importantly, this wand is cordless, giving you the freedom to change positions without managing a trailing cable.
Choose something you’re both excited to reach for.
The right couples’ sex toy fits your bodies and the way you enjoy being intimate together. Keep your three priorities in mind, talk honestly about what appeals to you and choose something you both feel excited to try.
Once it arrives, give yourselves time to explore without pressure to achieve anything. Sometimes a toy takes a few tries to feel right, just like riding a bike. Learn the controls, try different settings and tell each other what feels good or what needs adjusting. You don’t need to discover everything in one evening, but get curious together.
Ready to find your next shared favourite? Explore the Hot Octopuss range together and let your wishlist lead the way.