Question:
I’m a 45-year-old male with a spinal cord injury. Because of my injury, I have a difficult time ejaculating. It’s frustrating, and I’m looking for advice that might help. Do you have any ideas for me?
A: Living with a spinal cord injury can change how the body responds to sexual stimulation and, in turn, how you feel about intimacy. The important thing to know is that pleasure, arousal and satisfying sexual experiences are still very possible; sometimes it just requires a different approach.
One thing that can help is shifting your focus away from ejaculation as the main goal in sex, especially after a spinal cord injury; the pathways between the brain and the genitals can change. But it's important to remember that this doesn't mean you can experience pleasure. For example, exploring different types of stimulation, speed, and sensation can help you learn what your body responds to now. A good place to start is discovering new erogenous zones above the level of injury; areas like the chest, neck, ears, or inner thighs can become much more responsive and play a bigger role in building arousal that you might not have noticed before.
Another thing that can be supportive is devices that provide strong, consistent stimulation, which can sometimes help trigger ejaculation when manual stimulation alone isn’t enough. For example, the new JETT TURBO can be a supportive tool for exploring stimulation, and its remote makes changing stimulation speed and power more accessible. This toy allows you to explore 'Edging', the practice of bringing yourself close to orgasm, then slowing down or pausing stimulation before climax, allowing arousal to build again.
Another factor to consider is the role of the nervous system and finding ways to be more relaxed. One thing that can happen is that when ejaculation becomes difficult, it’s very easy to get stuck in a cycle of trying harder and becoming more frustrated. Sometimes, slowing things down, focusing on sensation rather than outcome (erogenous zones), and allowing arousal to build gradually can make a big difference.
You’re definitely not alone in this experience, and there are options worth exploring. With a bit of experimentation and the right support, many people with spinal cord injuries find new ways to experience pleasure, intimacy, and sometimes ejaculation as well.
Want to learn more read 'Sex and Spinal Cord Injury: The Story of PULSE'
April Maria (Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach)
