How to have better sex after 50

Question:

How to have better sex after 50

 

Answer:  My first piece of advice? You don’t have to try to recreate the sex you had at 25, 35 or even 45. Sex, like anything else in our lives, evolves, changes and needs adaptations as our bodies change. 

Here are a few things to explore if you want sex to be better after 50...

Start with what “better” means to you.

More frequent sex? More pleasure? A different kind of stimulation? Toy exploration? Feeling closer to a partner? Trying new moves or something you've always wanted to explore?

Maybe ask yourself, "What would I like more of, and what would I happily stop doing now at 50?" 

Take the pressure off.

Sex is a skill; no one has the rulebook or graduated with a PHD in being an expert. Sex is supposed to be a little messy, fun, explorative and filled with curiosity and questions. Don't worry if you feel it's not perfect; it's not meant to be. Remember, lean into what feels good rather than what looks good.

Make comfort part of pleasure.

If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness, ED, or even struggling with movement and positions, it's ok to bring in a little helping hand. Tools, toys and aids can support comfort, which in turn supports pleasure. 

For example, using a water-based lubricant can help reduce friction during sex when it feels like vaginal dryness is getting in the way of sexual activity. Trying a sex pillow can help support a position that puts less strain on your joints. A toy from the Hot Octopuss Pulse range can help support pleasure and erections when ED is present. 

But remember, if erection difficulties keep happening, speak to your GP. They can check for underlying causes and discuss treatment options. You don’t have to quietly accept a problem because you’ve passed a particular birthday. 

Explore some adult-styled homework.

Solo exploration can be a useful way to discover what you enjoy before sharing that information with someone else. If you’re curious about toys, consider what appeals to you: adjustable intensity, easy-to-reach controls or something comfortable to hold. Start gently and follow what feels good.

You don’t need to overhaul your sex life overnight, but knowing what you like can be some fun homework. Choose one small change: a conversation, more time, a different kind of touch.