We all hit a brick wall when it comes to sex (and solo sessions) at some point in our lives. Doing the same old positions, getting freaky in the sheets more as a tick box exercise rather than exploring for fun and pleasure. We all go there, don't worry. You are not alone.
When pleasure starts feeling predictable, it's a sign you're due for a shake-up. And the good news? Getting back into the swing of it doesn't have to mean pulling off wild acrobatics, mastering complicated new moves or spending thousands on a kinky weekend getaway. Sometimes, it's as simple as pausing and tuning into your body and asking yourself, 'What do I really want to explore when it comes to sex?'.
Whether you're flying solo, sharing the fun with a partner, or somewhere deliciously in between, it's time to stop going through the motions and start playing with intention. From giving yourself a much-needed pleasure check-in to experimenting with toys that genuinely love you back (yes, they're out there), these four simple ideas will help you fire up your senses, rediscover your turn-ons, and have much more fun in the process.
Ready to crank things up? Let's go.
1. Give yourself a pleasure check-in
Pleasure doesn't happen on autopilot and, for some, requires a little bit more than "babe, let's get naked!". Before you dive into solo or partnered play, take a moment to check in with yourself and be curious about what you want. I don't mean asking yourself how you look in the mirror; I mean asking yourself what you need today to feel good or to access pleasure. What do you require to feel relaxed? Do you want some adventure? Or do you need a deep connection? Do you want something slow or something more sensual?
Checking in with yourself first isn't just about setting the mood or getting the juices flowing. Instead, it's about tuning into your body's real desires and learning how to communicate that with your sexual partner/s once you figure it out. Ask yourself, 'What am I curious to explore?'.
2. Explore erotic stimuli (beyond just visuals)
We're often taught to rely heavily on what we see to spark desire. This is the case for some, but pleasure may need to be multi-sensory for others. Luckily, we have so many options to explore when it comes to setting the mood and getting us aroused, like experimenting with sounds, scents, textures, and fantasies to wake up your whole erotic body.
Maybe it's a slow, sensual playlist, a silk blindfold, a whisper in the ear, or the subtle drag of fingertips across the skin. Opening yourself up to erotic stimulation beyond the visual can make your solo or shared moments even richer and even more exciting, leaving you wanting more and more.
Why not read a kinky book together or spend some time indulging in some gentle touch or, if you feel brave enough, practise some eye contact? A study published in Psychological Science found that two minutes of mutual eye contact can significantly increase feelings of love and connection, even between strangers. Imagine what it can do in an existing relationship!
3. Try a Toy That Loves You Back
The right toy isn't just a device; it's a partner in pleasure that may not be achieved through other means. Hot Octopuss designs toys that respond to your body, meeting you where you are and helping you find new pleasure pathways no matter where you are in life, love and your sexual exploration journey.
From hands-free to toys that cater to a range of sensations and states (even flaccid arousal), there's a whole world of pleasure tech built to celebrate you exactly as you are. Choosing a toy that feels supportive can completely change your pleasure game.
Toys can be a gateway to new experiences, new connections, and, most importantly, support when pleasure seems unattainable.
Try our new Pulse Duo alone or with a partner this weekend and explore endless possibilities.
4. Let Your Partner In On It
If you're playing with a partner, don't keep the pleasure discoveries to yourself! Trust me, they will want to get a taste of the good stuff.
Exploring toys and new sensations together can build intimacy and excitement that can help reignite the spark. Share your check-in with them, invite them to experience new stimuli with you, and use toys not as "replacements" but as extensions of your mutual pleasure.
If speaking feels scary, why not text, leave a note on the bed or even share this article with them? Remember, your partner is not a mind reader, so you have to get comfortable sharing your desires before you end up leaving a sex life unfulfilled.
Get curious and ditch the routine.
Pleasure thrives on curiosity, not routine, so ditch the scripts and explore what feels good rather than what is expected. Small shifts can create a whole new kind of magic, whether checking in with yourself, experimenting with new sensations, or sharing the ride with a partner.
With the right mindset and maybe the right toy, your next sexual exploration could be your best yet.
