Unless you’ve been living on Mars for the last ten years you’ll know that couples sex toys are now a pretty big deal.
[Side note: If you have been living on Mars then welcome home Matt Damon! Well done growing all those potatoes. Get in touch with us if you’d like a PULSE II SOLO to make your next Martian trip fly by quicker.]
Where were we? Ah yes – couples sex toys. There is a huge variety of couples sex toys out there, which brings with it a number of awesome benefits. Toys like the amazing PULSE II DUO, which stimulates both of you at once and allows you to take advantage of some incredible non-penetrative sex positions. Shopping for couples sex toys can bring you closer together, owning them gives you a whole new repertoire of sex tricks, and experimenting with all the different possibilities gives you a great way to enjoy a Saturday night when you’ve finished all the Netflix box sets.
However, couples sex toys come with a few key dilemmas which none of the inventors could have anticipated. In medieval England, couples would no doubt fight over whose turn it was to churn the butter. In the 19th century it’d be whose turn it is to pay for the handsome cab. Nowadays, couples have to navigate the ‘couples sex toys’ conundrums:
Couples sex toys: who cleans them?
You’re exhausted and spent, having had an hour-long session with your PULSE II DUO. But oh no! Someone’s got to clean it ready to put back in the drawer.
What do you do?
a) clean it yourself (it’s not that hard, after all – the PULSE II DUO is 100% waterproof)
b) tell them to do it (handy if you’re in a BDSM relationship and you get to be the ‘top’)
Couples sex toys: who keeps them?
If you don’t live together, then you probably haven’t yet put all your couples sex toys in one big box with your initials carved into the lid. So when you buy something new, whose drawer does it go into?
a) whoever paid for it (PULSE II DUO can be used as a solo toy too, so you’ll want to get your money’s worth)
b) whoever has the least nosy housemates
c) coin toss
Couples sex toys: who gets them when you break up?
This one’s a kicker, mainly because break-ups are hard enough without having to divide up a fair share of the orgasms. Who gets to keep your PULSE II DUO when you decide to call it a day?
a) the person who least wants the breakup – they need something to soften the blow
b) whoever shouts loudest in your final argument
c) draw straws
What do we learn from this? Apart from the fact that introducing random coin tosses could potentially solve 90% of arguments? Well, we learn that we’re a lucky generation – we have incredible, affordable couples sex toys easily to hand, so our sex lives are open to much more possibility than our grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ generations.
However with great opportunity comes great responsibility. We need to be good at sexual communication – not just in bed when the dirty talk starts, but when we’re deciding how to use and care for our sex toys.
Let us know your answers to these conundrums in the comments. In the meantime, here’s some more information about your PULSE II DUO, and we wish you a long and happy time with it – whether alone or with your partner!