Too many men are reluctant to talk about erectile dysfunction.

After all, we are taught that if we can’t get it up we aren’t really men – that the appendage that dangles between our legs is in some way central to who and what we are. That message is reinforced for our entire lives, and so when that part of our body doesn’t perform in the way we wish, we feel diminished, less of a man, a failure.

This sense of shame keeps us from doing the things we need to do to prevent ED from becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Chances are that all of us will have a bout of ED at some point in our sexual lives and so being able to talk about it will help people to find solutions that work.

Common issues led to my erectile dysfunction

The circumstances that led to my ED are both unique to me and at the same time more common for others than many will admit. For me it was physical health issues, plus relationship- and work-related stress.

Once you have an episode of erectile dysfunction, of course it is more likely to happen again. And so it’s a good idea to start thinking about what you need to do about ED before the first time it happens, because each incident can make the next much more likely. So go and see your doctor, get a physical examination, check your blood pressure, make sure you are eating well and getting plenty of exercise.

And once it happens there are many things that you can do, so don’t despair (like I did) and add depression to the mix.

Tackling erectile dysfunction without the ‘little blue pill’

It never hurts to ask your doctor for medication to help with ED. But my doctor was reluctant to give me any as it could mix poorly with my very high blood pressure.

Luckily I had recently received a JETT penis vibrator from Hot Octopuss. I had considered sending it back, or passing it on to someone else, because I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to use it. I am really glad I didn’t.

It sat in its box for a week or so while I was feeling down. But after some reading about ‘low intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy’ for erectile dysfunction, my thoughts went to the JETT. As a sound engineer, I knew that sound waves are essentially vibrations, and here I had a device that not only vibrated, but did so with two different vibrators, one for ‘treble’ and one for ‘bass’. And those vibrations were variable in both intensity and pattern. How could I not do some research, for the sake of science? So with a bit of visual ‘inspiration’ and a bottle of good lube, I got started.

My research findings about sex toys and erectile dysfunction

I was worried that without the ability to become erect I would have trouble using JETT, but with sufficient lube and a bit of persuasion I was able to get things where they needed to be. Since this was my first time with a vibrator, I decided a slow start would be best and switched on the treble vibrator alone. Wow, what a sensation! But while it was pleasurable, it didn’t make me hard (I might have had fairly unreasonable expectations), so I added the bass vibrator. About 30 seconds later came an orgasm that I was most certainly not expecting!

I resolved to keep on trying. I hadn’t got an erection this time, but I did get a really intense orgasm and that on its own was worth it. But over the next few weeks of use I found that my cock got harder each time I used JETT.

By the time Autumn rolled around I had gotten healthier and my doctor had prescribed me Viagra. I certainly didn’t turn it down, but by December I found that I didn’t need it (although I still hold it in reserve). When I went to meet my long-distance girlfriend for the first time all went as hoped with no assistance from the blue pills.

Can sex toys help with erectile dysfunction?

So can I tell you for sure that JETT cured my ED? Well no, I can’t. But I can say that as far as I am concerned, even if the only effect it had was to teach me that I could still have orgasms, it was a winner in my book.

Since that first experiment, I have used JETT many times, and I will continue to do so for as long as it keeps working. You can be damn sure I will buy a new one if it breaks! The boost it has given to my confidence and sense of personal wellbeing has been dramatic.

The lesson here? Don’t give up hope and don’t be afraid to talk to others. It is my hope that being open about my journey and experiences will help someone else through what can be a really tough time for those who are trapped in the notion that if your dick doesn’t get hard you are not a man anymore.

I know that I am now far better prepared for an uncertain future than I was before. If you would like to talk to someone who has been where you are please don’t hesitate to reach out – I’m on Twitter. You are not alone.

*

Read more articles about erectile dysfunction and penis pleasure

More from The Edge

Get Under the Sheets with us

Subscribe to our newsletter