We know not everyone has a huge budget for sex toys. Most people have a few key favourites that they use regularly, and occasionally splash out to add another awesome toy to their collection. So in the spirit of Money Saving Experts, we’re here to help you out and let you in on a little secret: some of the best couples sex toys are things you already own.
Before we start: a word of warning. Good sex toys are rigorously tested for use on your genitals, so while we’re all in favour of you using the following things to spice up your sex life, we don’t want you get carried away with DIY sex toys and start carving things out of whatever you find in your veg box. Our recommendations below are all safe to use, and focused on external pleasure rather than internal pleasure. Safety first, everyone!
There’s been a fairly recent explosion in sexual positioning products – these are fantastic couples sex toys that help you get into certain positions that would be tricky or impossible without help. Products like the Liberator sex wedge, which help you angle yourself for doggy and missionary, and are particularly useful for people with limited mobility. They’re pricey, though, and if you can’t afford a state-of-the art wedge, then your sofa cushions will do in a pinch. Grab a cushion or two, arrange on the living-room floor, and enjoy one of the best couples sex toys that you can have for free.
This one might be a bit of a cheat, but we want to put ‘TV’ on this list – for a really good reason. Sometimes the best things you can do as a couple involve watching hot things together. Whether it’s a sex-filled TV show like Game of Thrones or something more explicit like your favourite porn film, couples that can share their porn have a really nifty way to start a sexy night in.
That wooden spoon isn’t just great for stirring soup – the humble spoon is used in countless hundreds of spanking porn videos, and for very good reason. It’s firm, durable, and meets rigorous safety standards, because who on earth wants splinters in their casserole? The humble wooden spoon is one of the best couples sex toys for spanking.
Looking for a bit of hot bondage action? That cling film in your kitchen works in a similar way to bondage tape. Cling film sticks to itself, so wrapped round your partner’s wrists, ankles, or chest, it provides a constricting tightness that’s nevertheless easy to escape from at the end of a session. Safety notes: don’t wrap it too tight, and make sure you keep scissors on standby. Also cling film should never be used over the mouth or nose, and despite what the kids at school may have thought, it is never ever a substitute for a condom.
A word of warning here: there are quite a few things in your bathroom that might seem like great couples sex toys, but they aren’t. Shampoos and conditioners and shower gels, for instance, might seem slippery enough that they could make good lube but can cause problems if used internally. Likewise lotions or products like Vaseline. If they’re oil-based, they can degrade condoms and sex toys, so steer clear of these in favour of a good lubricant, or your sex session will end up with a whimper rather than a bang.
However, there are other great things in the bathroom that can be repurposed into the best couples sex toys: your shower head is a great example. Test the water temperature to make sure it’s neither too hot nor too cold, then run the stream over your partner’s sensitive bits. To be super-certain that you’re getting the heat right, test the water on your elbow before you put it anywhere near someone’s genitals. It’s a technique used to make sure baby’s bath water isn’t too hot, and it’ll work for your partner’s delicate skin too.
Unless you have a trampoline, we’re sorry to say that it’s slim pickings in the garden. Pop back indoors.
Let’s ignore your actual sex toy collection for now – we’re looking for things that can be repurposed as sex toys in a pinch. If you or your partner has a collection of ties, and you’re willing to donate one to the cause, then these are excellent substitutes for rope: as any good Cosmo sex guide will tell you.
What Cosmo won’t always tell you, though, is that one of the reasons bondage rope is better than its improvised alternative is that it is softer and usually less harsh on the skin. So if you’re repurposing ties (or tights, or stockings) as wrist and ankle restraints, be very careful how tight you tie them, and make sure to keep in constant communication with your partner to make sure they aren’t getting pins and needles or pain where the tie pulls against the skin.
As with cling film, always keep scissors on standby too – the last thing you want mid-shag is for the smoke alarm to go off, and you have to help your partner hobble out of the house in some odd sexual three-legged race because you can’t get the knots undone fast enough.
If none of our suggestions above did the trick – or even if they did and you fancy something extra – then why not pick up a couples sex toy designed to pleasure both of you?
PULSE DUO has an oscillating PulsePlate™ on the inside, to give a unique, deep stimulation to the shaft of the penis, as well as an external vibrator on the outside for the other partner to use. It’s made of matt silicone so it’s compatible with water-based lubes, and comes with a remote control so you can vary the sensations on the external vibrator.
What’s more, it can be used in any room of the house. And perhaps the garden, if your neighbours aren’t looking.