Article by Joan Price, resident Senior Sexpert
2020 is a year we want to forget, and I’m not going to make it worse by enumerating the reasons.
But one gloriously wonderful thing happened right here in 2020: Hot Octopuss launched its Senior Sex Hub and created a wealth of information, ideas, tips, and answers to questions about sex and aging. Lest you be overwhelmed by all our great content, here’s what you’ll find by exploring the hub:
Our Senior Sex Blog is constantly updated with new content specifically for our age group. Our goal is to help you stay sexy as your body changes, understand how to rev up your erotic responsiveness (solo or partnered), and help you navigate relationships. We also give you peeks into the sex lives of others our age. Below is a sampling of some of our most popular 2020 posts. Click on the bold titles to be taken to the articles directly:
We call them “sex toys,” but vibrators and other pleasure stimulators are far more than “toys,” especially for seniors. They’re orgasm tools. For many of us who are staying sexual in older bodies, they’re a necessity for orgasm. But what happens if your partner says, “No. I should be enough for you. If you need a vibrator, there’s something wrong”?
As we age, orgasms change, or they become more elusive. Arousal may require more time, effort, and stimulation. The things that used to get us to orgasm might not work reliably anymore. Our future is not doom and gloom, though. Orgasms can be richly satisfying with the right kind and amount of stimulation and an open mind, so let’s talk about how to achieve that.
“I just don’t feel desire anymore. I could go weeks, months without sex. What’s wrong with me?” If these words could have been yours, you’re not alone. Chances are, you’re talking about the waning of spontaneous desire. There’s another kind — responsive desire — and you access it differently. Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire may make all the difference in your sex life.
What is BDSM, why can it potentially be of such great benefit to older people, and how should you go about getting started with BDSM when you’re a senior? M. Christian delves into how BDSM can become an enjoyable part of your sexual activities, no matter your age or experience.
The 1969 Stonewall Rebellion was the night that police raided a New York City gay bar and people resisted and rioted. I interview Jane Fleishman Ph.D., author of “The Stonewall Generation,” stories of people who were there, who are now elders, and people who were not there physically, but whose lives and sense of themselves were forever changed by that event.
These are just a few of the many useful and interesting blog posts published this year. Read more here.
“Dear Joan” is a dynamic section of the Senior Sex Hub with your questions and my answers. Send me a question with a brief explanation, and I’m likely to answer it here. I answered numerous questions on a variety of topics in 2020. Here are some:
My husband says he still desires me sexually, but his penis says otherwise. It takes a lot of oral sex to get him aroused, and even then, his erection doesn’t last long enough for sex.
I moved in with my daughter’s family during the pandemic to help with my grandchildren. I’d like to join online dating sites to flirt and have sexy conversations. But there’s no lock on my bedroom door and the adults and kids barge in, even when the door is closed.
I invite you to submit your own problem or concern at the “Ask Joan A Question” link. Check first to make sure I haven’t already answered a similar question. Be brief, but specific with pertinent details. Don’t worry, you won’t be identified in any way if we use your question.
What topics do you hope we’ll address? What questions and concerns do you hope we’ll answer? I’d love to [hear from you] with your ideas. And if you love what we’re doing, tell me that, too!