91-Year-Old Widow Seeks Live Guy

"I want a guy who is not just breathing but alive. Most men even close to my age are so far over the hill they can’t remember where the hill was."

"I’m looking for a clean-shaven, younger businessman or professional, working part-time at something that keeps his brain and body challenged. I’m not looking for someone to support me, nor will I support a man."

"My major dilemma is my age. I’m 91 and a widow. I look much younger than my age, and my work keeps my brain active and challenged. Men, even close to my age, are over the hill in so many ways, yet they are looking for someone younger than they are. Our culture attaches enormous significance to chronological age, but that does not determine mental or physical competence. At this stage of life, why does age matter? Either you still ‘got it goin’ on’ or you don’t."

Joan answers:

It wouldn’t take much editing for you to turn what you just wrote to me into a powerful profile on a dating app so your ‘live guy’ can find you. Word it so that you’re inviting the positive instead of just rejecting the negative, e.g. “Are you the rare man close to my age who’s on top of the hill instead of over it?” instead of “Most men even close to my age are so far over the hill they can’t remember where the hill was”.

You said you’re looking for a younger partner. That’s fine if that’s your preference, but realize that you’re chiding men your age for doing the same thing. I invite you to avoid rejecting men in your age group because you’ve met some duds. Duds of all ages inhabit our world, on and off the dating sites, but there are also some fine, lively, interesting folks – like you! – who are looking for their matches. Every loser you encounter gets you closer to meeting a winner. My webinar “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?” gives 90 minutes of useful advice about DWO (dating while older).