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The Funny Stuff - Articles

Have a good old 'titter'

Once you have had a sex toy company for over a decade you start to find you have more than a few funny articles - here are some of our favourites.


Group of women in underwear

How to Celebrate Black Friday 2021 – The Ultimate Play Party Checklist

Here are our reasons why a play party can fantastically celebrate the season, how to find or host one, things to keep in mind, and everything else you need to enjoy this giving-getting all sorts of erotic presents!

sexy woman in mask next to pumpkin halloween

Best Adult Halloween Celebration Ideas 2021

Want to know why you need to celebrate Halloween this year and need tips on how to enjoy this Halloween as an adult? You are in the right place!

Two women walking down road and holding each others butts

5 Things From Netflix’s Sex Education We Wish They’d Taught Us At School

Netflix’s funny-but-touching teen comedy show Sex Education is causing quite a stir in the UK and beyond, and the team at HO is about to go into binge-watch mode.

Three guys having fun and enjoying themselves

Everything Wrong With That ‘Men Try Sex Toys’ Video

One of the perks of working for Hot Octopuss is that you get to see all the latest gossip and chat about sex toys. Every day we get to see the latest tweets, videos and news stories about the latest gadgets and gizmos for your dick, and as a result we get to be ahead of the penis-pleasure curve. So to speak.

Man sitting against branches experiencing pleasure

Death Grip Masturbation And Other Search Stories

If you’ve never delved into Google Analytics for a sex website before, then you’ve not lived. Somewhere deep in the console which tells us boring yet important things (how many people read this blog, where people tend to come from to buy our awesome sex toys, etcetera) there is info that tells a much more interesting story.

Robotic hand touching male hand with tattooed arm

Sex Robots: The Weird, Wonderful and WTF

You surely can’t have missed the recent news that the world’s first commercial sex robot is now on the market. The Guardian reported thoroughly on Harmony – a placid, realistic-looking humanoid who apparently can do more than your average robot.

Crazy man in red plaid with arm tattoos and moustache and beard

How To Find The Most Unique Sex Toys

It’s natural that humans want to chase variety, in sex as well as elsewhere in life. Same-old-same-old masturbation is pleasurable, of course: even a bad wank is still nice.

Man with tattoos on arms and body with hat and beard staring into camera

Sex On TV and Hands Free Masturbation

If you’ve been using your PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL for hands-free masturbation at the computer, taking advantage of the fact that you can use both of your hands to browse your chosen… ahem… material, then know that you’re not the only one.

Two lesbians in bed, naked and kissing

When Sex Is An Extreme Sport

Here’s another great erotic and thoughtful guest post from James Mycroft – this time about a sporting injury that’s got nothing to do with running or rock climbing…

Horned male demon in bed with sexy woman in black lingerie

Halloween’s Top Sex Scenes In Horror Movies

There’s a famous psychological experiment which explored the link between fear and sexual arousal. A female researcher stood on two different bridges – one a scary, wobbly suspension bridge and the other a much more solid bridge, which wouldn’t induce fear responses when people walked across.

Hipster man holding open his white shirt to show tattoos on his chest and arms

Sexy Tricks And Treats For Halloween

Perhaps one of the nicest things about the internet (yes, we know, there are some pretty horrible things about it too) is that celebrations and festivals get to spread further across the world. In the UK, we’ve traditionally been quite bad at Halloween: cheap costumes and a bit of fake blood on one night each year doesn’t exactly make for a scary evening.

Heavily tattooed man and woman standing back to back

Worst DIY Sex Toy Fails

Let’s face it, the words ‘DIY’ and ‘sex toy’ go together about as well as ‘vodka’ and ‘snowboarding.’ The two should never mix, and you can guarantee that if they do someone’s going to get seriously hurt. But that doesn’t stop some people from pressing on regardless.

Suggestive imagery of banana in fabric shaped like shorts

Sex Blog Memes That Will Bring You Joy

We can say with 100% confidence that if you enjoy reading our sex toy blog, you’ll love reading some of the other fantastic sex blogs dotted around the internet.

Older hipster with long beard and tattooed arms, wearing a black shirt with red braces

Which Sex World Record Could You Beat?

Last weekend the Hot Octopuss team chatted about sex world records. Are there any categories in which people who use PULSE SOLO ESSENTIAL compete? Could they potentially beat the competition?

Bottomless woman holding on wearing corset and goggles

5 Fun Facts You Didn’t Know About Porn

Fun. Ethical. Good for you! Could it be... porn? Resident blogger Queen P dishes up all the reasons you – and your partners – oughta feel great about enjoying erotic entertainment.

Woman with long hair in forest touching waistband

Tackling modern masturbation myths

It’s easy for us to laugh at historical mistakes: the old myth that excessive masturbation would damage your vision, for instance, is one that very few people would give credence to today.

Woman in steamy shower behind glass

Who’s The World’s Fastest Wanker?

Today we’re welcoming the amazing vlogger DaveyWavey to the HotOctopuss blog. We gave him some PULSE SOLO ESSENTIALs and to really put them through their paces, he’s staged the PULSE Olympics! It’s a sprint to the finish line, as he challenges three friends to become the World’s Fastest Wanker…

Woman in black lingerie straddling topless seated man

Cock Cameras, Sexy Selfies, and Other DIY Porn

Last weekend saw the return of the ETO Show – an event run by the UK sex industry’s ETO Magazine, where sex toy inventors, lube wizards and other adult industry folks gathered to show off their wares.

Camden Road tube station and bridge

Why London Is The Sexiest City In The World

Sydney is quite seductive, and Tokyo can be tantalising, but we think London is the sexiest city in the world.



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