How To Be Sexually Confident With Scotty Unfamous And Madam Storm

Meet MSSS, the sexual happiness experts, learn some tips on sexual confidence, and find out about their exclusive online workshop.

MSSS was created by multi award-winning erotic romance author, YouTuber and sexpert, Scotty Unfamous, and renowned female empowerment coach, international dominatrix and founder of the Strut Masterclass, Madam Storm.

The frank and funny wellness duo collaborated on a series of Instagram Lives during lockdown, including topics such as how to be better in bed, unlocking your femininity and fulfilling your desires. This refreshing combination of two black women championing unapologetic female sexual empowerment and mindfulness, mixed with a bit of kink, left their audience gagging for more. Thus MSSS was born.

“It was like a sighting of a rare Pokémon”

The two met back in 2017 at a sex positive event in Brixton, where Madam Storm was hosting, and Scotty was performing a reading from one of her erotic novels. Scotty was in awe of seeing a black dominatrix in the flesh (she says: “It was like a sighting of a rare Pokémon”) and Madam Storm was blown away by the quality of Scotty’s eloquent erotica. They made plans to work together in the future… on what, they had no idea, but they shared a connection and a purpose of amplifying black womxn’s voices in the adult industry.

Scotty says, “There are not many spaces where black womxn feel safe expressing their desires and concerns around intimacy and sexual confidence in the UK. There is still a lot of sexual trauma that blocks womxn from enjoying their sex lives; many don’t know their vaginas or how to masturbate due to the shame that comes with female sexuality, being over-sexualised and societal and religious beliefs.

“MSSS is on a mission to liberate and celebrate the power of the pxssy by creating safe spaces where womxn can learn about their bodies, reframe their mindset whilst having fun, and begin their journey of self-love and exploration with a supportive community behind them. MSSS’s workshops are informative and informal, with a laid-back, interactive vibe that makes you feel like you are chatting with your girlfriends.”

MSSS’s hosts set them apart from the rest

Aside from being a dominatrix and female empowerment coach, Madam Storm is a qualified clinical hypnotherapist and neurolinguistic practitioner who is trained to help people rewire their mindset. Scotty, in turn, creates both hilarious educational and entertainment content around sexuality that centres black women in order to help break the stigma around black sexuality and normalise the conversation in her community. She has also taught her brand of candid sex education in colleges and universities. Check out her review of our DiGiT Finger Vibrator.

Hot Octopuss has teamed up with MSSS for their latest online workshop – The Vixen Session – part two of their immersive wellness series, designed to teach you how to build your confidence in and out of the bedroom, unlearn sexual shame and explore and learn more about your body. The modules for the evening include:

• The art of sensual communication
• Foreplay and how to master blended orgasms
• The power of lingerie and imagination and more

Here are some tips from their module on the power of imagination and roleplay.

Scotty on the importance of imagination in creating a connection

“Imagination plays a huge role in how we connect intimately with ourselves and our partners. Often, a lot of womxn may rely on porn for stimulation (absolutely nothing wrong with that) or we rely on our partner to set pace in what we do between the sheets.

“This fear of intention and responsibility for our own sexuality, paired with the consumption of adult content (which is often skewered by the ‘male gaze’) can stunt us sexually, making it harder for us to fully enjoy our sex lives and achieve orgasm.

“As an erotic romance author, I get messages from my readers all of the time telling me how much they enjoyed a steamy scene from my books and how it makes them feel better about the things that they desire, because I unapologetically push the boundaries of my imagination. They also tell me that they masturbate to my stories, so that’s fun!

“I believe in the power of imagination as a tool to improve your sex life, because it allows you to safely step outside of your comfort zone and explore fantasies you may want to emulate in real life. This is a super easy way to explore your sexuality and discover what you like in bed. The best part is, when you know what you like, you can communicate it to your partner -do not be afraid to do this. Your partner wants to be good in bed and if they can make you climax it is great for both of you.”

Madam Storm on getting into character for roleplay

“I believe in the magic of creating different characters that allow you to explore different parts of your personality in a fun and safe way, whether that’s exploring your submissive side by dressing as a maid, or your dominant side as a mistress.

“In my experience working with different womxn from different cultures and backgrounds, I’ve found that what holds them back from enjoying their sexual experiences is a lack of sexual confidence. One way to increase your sexual confidence is by stepping into a character that you’ve created.

“Create a profile for your character which includes her name, likes and dislikes, body language, sexual desires/kinks, clothing, etc. The profile can be as detailed as you want it to be. Not only is this a fun way of exploring yourself, my clients have found it extremely liberating. I’ve had the best success rate getting my clients to free themselves from sexual shame by writing a letter to themselves stating, ‘I give myself permission to explore this character without any guilt or shame’.

I encourage my clients to have a safe word, which is a great way to let you partner know that you’re no longer enjoying an experience without disrupting the mood.”

You can follow MSSS on Instagram, learn more about Scotty Unfamous on her website, and discover more about Madam Storm here.