Delayed Ejaculation And Performance Anxiety

13 September 2021

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I am a 60-year-old man, married to my wife for 38 years. We enjoy being with each other and I have always been the horny one. I enjoy giving my wife oral sex ending in orgasm with the help of a vibrator. Since my back surgery several years ago, she gives me oral sex or a hand job, or I masturbate for her. But just recently, I have not been able to reach orgasm. I have high blood pressure and take pain meds, which don’t help. I think I may have delayed ejaculation and performance anxiety. My wife sometimes says it takes too long, and she doesn’t enjoy sex as much as I do. I’m screwed.

“I think I may have delayed ejaculation and performance anxiety”

Joan Answers:

I commend you for being open to different ways of giving each other sexual pleasure. Many couples have difficulty adapting to the challenges of age and medical conditions.

Important: please consult your physician about your inability to reach orgasm. You’re right that back surgery and medications can have sexual side effects. Your doctor may be able to help you by diagnosing the cause of your delayed ejaculation and deciding how to treat it.

Yes, performance anxiety is making it worse. Worrying that you’re taking too long and your wife is tiring will slow down your responses even more. You have a good understanding of what might be going on.

I strongly suggest that you try one of the Hot Octopuss penis vibrators to increase sensation and hasten orgasm. Both PULSE and JETT work wonderfully for arousal and orgasm (no erection required). My male reviewer loves both — see his reviews of PULSE SOLO LUX and JETT. You can use these solo, and you can use them with your partner. She can stroke other erogenous zones while your ‘guybrator’ soars you to orgasm.

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