Celebrate International Fetish Day - Learn BDSM & Best Free Resources

If you’re interested in BDSM, I’ve got some great news for you: There are a ton of FREE educational resources online. In this article I’ll share with you the podcasts, YouTube channels, and FetLife groups that have taught me the most. If you’re wondering why exactly people get into “the lifestyle,” here are the most common reasons I’ve encountered:

1. Accessible intimacy. There are people from all walks of life who don’t have access to or interest in PIV sex. Erectile dysfunction. Mobility issues. Neurodiversity. Dyspareunia (painful intercourse.) Asexuality. BDSM puts intimacy back on the table, no “tab A in slot B” sex required.
2. Deepening the bond between partners. BDSM requires partners to diligently and consciously cultivate trust. The increased risk factor necessitates active communication and whole-hearted consent. And in the midst of a scene, partners typically experience a higher level of intimacy as they hyper-focus their attention on their partner’s cues. For those who tend to “check out” during vanilla sex, BDSM an avenue for “dropping in” to their bodily sensations.
3. It’s FUN. This is adult play time! You may have a cathartic release. You can get out of your head and into your body. You may find spirituality and sexuality in the same place. You may experience an increased sense of satisfaction in your relationship.

Over the years I’ve gone to countless workshops, munches, and conferences, and received one-on-one mentoring. But a great bulk of my kink studies have come from free online resources. And here’s the very best of what I’ve found.

Morgan Thorne BDSM

Morgan’s YouTube channel is a treasure trove of quality material! And she doesn’t speak from the Mr. Domly Dom “look at me, I do flogging demo’s” place. She speaks as a person who has loads of experience teaching and playing in the Scene at large. If you want to learn about dungeon/munch/play party etiquette, cock and ball torture, medical play, or DIY kink toys (AKA “pervertibles”), Morgan’s channel is definitely for you. Wondering where to start? Check out her Kink 101 Playlist!

Watt’s The Safeword

Hosted by Pup Amp and Mr. Christopher, these guys take the cake for funniest BDSM videos. You’ll find lots of information on pup play, anal play, and the leather lifestyle here. Their YouTube channel is the place to go if you’re looking for rope bondage tutorials. And their podcast is chock full of laugh out loud banter and blush-worthy interviews. Dare you to put this on your earbuds while you’re in public!

Evie Lupine

THOROUGH. Is the word I’d use to describe Miss Lupine–her General BDSM playlist is over200 videos long! Evie’s going to give you the information you need in order to stay safe, have a good time, and maybe even look like you know what you’re doing. I suspect that she has a younger audience and gives a particularly nice “older sibling” angle on how to not be taken advantage of when entering the Scene. If you’re going into BDSM single, Evie is the single biggest source of online information on the smartest and safest way to do so.

Off The Cuffs Podcast

TABOO? Let’s do this! Off The Cuffs bursts with edgy, hilarious, and candid dialogue between hosts minimus maximus, Lexual Romance, and Bidaily, and a different guest each episode. If you want to learn about the more extreme side of kink, this is the podcast for you. Botanical BDSM, knife play, and autassassinophilia are amongst the nichier kinks covered. And while all the folks listed in this article are aligned with inclusivity, OTC hosts take the cake in my book. I can’t quite say why...you’ll just have to listen to find out.

My favorite FetLife groups!

FetLife’s strength as a platform lies in the educational content of its groups. If there’s anything you can think of, there’s a group for it on FetLife. Browsing through the existing groups will likely turn you on, cause you to squirm, make you laugh, and go to drastic measures to try and forget something you just read. This is a great place to make friends who are on the same side of the slash as you, or who share the same kinks. This is also where you can find a mentor, and stay in the loop about upcoming workshops and play parties. If I had two choose one place to start–well I couldn’t choose just one. But here are the top three: A Documented History Of The Lifestyle 1945-95, Ask a Dominant Questions, and Ask a Submissive Questions.

There is enough free information available to keep your brain gerbils spinning their wheels for a lifetime! When it comes to reading material, Tristan Taormino’s book, The Ultimate Guide To Kink is a great place to start. If and when you do decide to invest financially in your training, strive to support the wonderful BDSM teachers out there. Local dungeons and sex education centers often host workshops and skill shares. And I recommend that just about everyone who’s interested in kink attend one of the larger national/international conferences at least once. You’ll never forget it! Remember, you don’t need a partner to enjoy the BDSM lifestyle. Nor do you need to have “sex.” What you do need is the desire to learn, the willingness to communicate honestly, and an interest in having a good time.

Quality BDSM gear can be found in its natural habitat at Hot Octopuss BDSM Hub