Once every four years, football fans across the globe hunker down in front of the biggest telly they can find, line up drinks and snacks, and prepare to cheer on their favourite teams in the World Cup. But what of the football lovers’ lovers, those who either don’t understand or don’t care about the offside rule? What can they do with themselves for the seemingly interminable time it takes to decide which group of men is best at kicking a ball into a big net?
Well, don’t worry: we’ve got your backs. Whether you’re anti-World Cup or just ambivalent about it, there’s lots you can do to entertain yourself while your partner has their eyes locked on the TV. Here are our top seven things to do while your partner is absorbed in the World Cup…
1. Learn how to give yourself a hands-free orgasm
Using sex toys like PULSE, which deliver powerful oscillating vibrations to the most sensitive parts of your penis, you can master the art of orgasming without ever using your hands. Neat, right? Our advice on how to have a hands-free orgasm is the most popular post ever on our blog, and if you click through you’ll see why. All you need for a hands-free orgasm is a PULSE, a bit of spare time, and some earplugs to drown out the football cheering from the next room.
2. Save the planet (and get fit at the same time!)
If you’re not into kicking a ball around a grassy field, how about planting some trees in it? TCV – the community volunteering charity – offers ‘green gyms’ across the UK, where you get together with other like-minded volunteers at a green space near you to plant, dig, and cultivate the public spaces. Keeps you fit, gets you outdoors, and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling at the same time!
3. Learn a new language
Your other half might be watching teams from across the world, but you can go one better and start mastering a foreign language! There are lots of great online courses and apps – like Duolingo – that will help you learn a brand new language. And if you’re feeling cheeky you could always choose to learn the language from your partner’s greatest rival World Cup team! Or for something a little different, how about trying out a British Sign Language taster course? Action on Hearing Loss has some tips on how to find BSL courses in your area.
4. Try out a new kind of orgasm
If you’re thinking that the World Cup means you’ll have a lot of dates with your vibrator, then perhaps it’s time to mix those dates up and try out the unique Queen Bee: an oscillating clitoral wand that gives a totally different kind of sensation. Rumbly, powerful and exciting: like a Mexican wave in a football stadium, but for your clitoris!
5. Say ‘yes’ to your projects
When the World Cup is over, all your partner will have to show for it is a hangover and (let’s be honest) probably a huge disappointment after England gets knocked out early on. Now’s the time for you to get on with writing that novel,, redecorating the bedroom, or catching up on all the books that have been piling up on your bedside table.
6. Prepare something sexy for when the football’s over
Just because they’re AWOL with the FA for a few weeks, doesn’t mean you can’t prepare some sexy surprises for when your partner returns to the real world. Why not treat yourself to a boudoir photoshoot during the World Cup? There are plenty of photography studios, like Doll House Photography, which offer sexy sessions for you to take pictures that show off your hottest side. You’ll have great fun posing in front of the camera, and we’re pretty sure that a batch of sexy snaps will distract them at least until the next match. You could even try doing a boudoir shoot dressed in their favourite team’s kit…
7. Try out a brand new sport
Football might seem like a snooze-fest, but there are plenty of other sports that you might find way more interesting. How about researching your local roller derby team? Roller derby is an adrenaline-fuelled contact sport which sees teams of players skating around an elliptical track – smashing into each other in order to score points (or block the other team from scoring points). If you’re sick of watching footballers roll around the penalty box in pretend agony, this sport will be a welcome breath of fresh air.
The World Cup doesn’t have to be woeful!
It can always be tricky if your partner gets into a sport or hobby that baffles or annoys you, but the World Cup doesn’t have to get in the way of your relationship. On the contrary: having a break from each other while one of you watches the football and the other gets to grips with some ‘me time’ can be a great way to spend the summer – enjoy the things each of you love and bring back lots of stories and ideas to tell your partner when the final whistle has blown.
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