Some toys lend themselves better to partnered play than others. And some positions are better suited for toy use.
Have you ever found yourself holding an exciting new sex toy and thinking “OK, but how are we going to use this?” It’s generally pretty easy to figure out how to use a toy solo. You only have to worry about your own pleasure. But if you and your partner are looking to play together, it can sometimes be tricky to figure out how to configure yourself to make the best use of your toy and whatever body parts are going to be in the mix.
Here are 5 best sex positions which are better with a toy:
Spooning is a great position for toy use for two reasons. First, if you’re doing p-in-v, the little spoon’s clitoris and breasts are easy for both partners to access with hands or a toy. Second, because no one needs to brace themselves, there are at least 3 hands available to operate toys.
This position is ideal for vulva-havers who enjoy clitoral stimulation while being penetrated. If the “big spoon” is going to operate the toy, it may be best to choose something small like the DiGiT finger vibrator or the AMO bullet vibrator. Keep in mind that because your partner is behind you, they can’t see what they’re doing! You may need to guide their hands to the right spot.
If the vulva-haver enjoys more distributed vibration, this position can also be enjoyable with a “magic wand” style vibrator. Using a more powerful toy may allow the penis-haver to feel the vibrations through their partner’s body for an extra element of fun! When playing with a larger toy it may be easier for the vulva-haver to hold it.
It is a little harder for the “little spoon” to use a toy on the “big spoon” in this position. Depending on shoulder flexibility, you may be able to reach back and provide a little anal stimulation.
2. Doggie Style
This classic position offers a few fun possibilities for incorporating a toy. Hands-free toys are a good choice for doggie style. They let the penetrating partner hold on to their partner while they thrust. Consider something like the new ATOM PLUS LUX cock ring, which uses Hot Octopuss’s dual-motor technology to provide vibrations on both the perineum and top of the shaft, while also vibrating against the receiving partner. This can be a great choice if you want to come hard and fast!
This is also a great position to introduce a bit of anal stimulation for either partner. One or both of you can wear a butt plug. As the penetrating partner you can pleasure your partner with anal beads. You’ve got such convenient access from this position!
But what about the receptive partner? It may seem like you’re short of options, being on your hands and knees. However, if you have the strength and balance to adopt a tripod position, you can use a vibrator on yourself.
If you want to try this, first test your strength and stability with some bird-dogs, or by doing plank with alternating shoulder taps. Consider masturbating in a tabletop position and playing with yourself one-handed. Once you feel comfortable in these positions on a stable surface, practice carefully on your bed. Your balance will be very different on a soft surface, especially if you’ve got something like a pillowtop mattress! Test your stability on the bed before you and your partner really go at it.
Yes, I am the mom friend. I worry.
3. Standing Upright
A lot of sex toys, including many of Hot Octopuss’s best sellers, are waterproof. So why not hop in the shower with your partner and get up to some hot, steamy fun?
Depending on whether you and your partner face each other, or adopt a front-to-back stance, you’ll have opportunities to use different toys. Of course, a waterproof vibrating cock ring is one easy option (conveniently hands-free so you don’t have to worry about dropping it). But any vibrator that can handle being wet can come along with you to the shower. Or bring your favorite dildo! And hey, if you start feeling frisky in the shower and you forgot to bring a toy, there’s nothing wrong with that old standby, the shower head.
Getting busy in the shower is a great option for period sex. No need to put down a towel. The water will just wash away any flow. You can clean your toys while you’re in the shower, too. Plus, I always find a nice hot shower relaxing when I’m on my period. A good orgasm is just going to increase the relaxation factor.
If you’re trying to conserve water or you’re worried about slippery surfaces, you can also enjoy some standing sex against any wall in the house. In fact, outside of the shower it’s safer to play with things like wrapping your legs around your partner while they hold you against the wall or door.
OK, hear me out on this. Missionary gets a lot of flack for being “vanilla”.
But you know what? Vanilla can be fucking delicious and versatile.
There’s a reason why you don’t make root beer floats with rocky road. Because missionary is so basic, it’s really easy to spice it up with some sex toys. Pretty much any of the options we’ve discussed so far could work — a cock ring, a vibrator, a butt plug. So what else can we incorporate?
For couples ready to dip their toes into a little light bondage, missionary puts the vulva-having partner into the ideal position. They can easily be handcuffed to a bedpost, or blindfolded, while still feeling securely supported by the bed. The penis-haver (or a vulva-haver with a strap-on, another fun option!) is in a naturally “dominant” position just by virtue of being on top, and having the leverage to control the speed of penetration.
Putting aside the gendered connotations of this one (can we move to rename it to Cowpoke?), cowgirl offers some great opportunities for toy incorporation. It’s easy for either partner to make use of a vibrator for clitoral stimulation in this position.
When testing the PULSE DUO LUX, my partner and I found that cowgirl made it really easy to keep the toy on their penis. I feel like this position would be especially helpful for using a PULSE-style toy without a full erection. Essentially, a combination of gravity and your two bodies fitting together will keep everything in place. If you find yourselves on something like one of those flimsy Olympic cardboard cots, you could probably even sit in place and let the toy do all the work.
And of course, everything I said above about bondage can be flipped around for the penis-haver in cowgirl. The partner who is on top gets to control the show!
Play Around and Find Out
These are just five options out of the dozens or hundreds of potential sex positions out there. Throw in the vast variety of sex toys on the market, and there are infinite ways for you and your partner to combine your bodies and toys for a good time.
What are you waiting for? Go forth and play!
Article by Hot Octopuss Guest Writer Sophia Reading.